Friends

no, not the show. although i do love the show :p but i'm talking about real life friends. oh wait, rewind to yesterday first. my birthday was a blast. it was a small get-together but sweet. i had my parents present, what more could i have asked for? :)

so back to the subject of friends... i'm so appreciative of my friends back in cyprus. i feel bad and selfish when i think that they don't care and whatnot. coz they really care... they have their own busy lives now but during special occassions like my birthday, they never fail to greet me and i love them for it. 2 years have passed but it seems like they're not too far... as corny as that may sound. sure, there's that gap of missed times but in a little corner of their hearts, i know i still have a place there... just how they have a special spot in mine. whenever i see group pictures of them, i always think "i should've been there". but i guess everything happens for reason. i was separated miles away from them to venture on other things this life has to offer. at the same time, i also got to know who my real friends are. the ones who never fail to drop a line, ask how i am are the ones who'll always be with me.

since i came here, i never really found another group of friends like them. i guess the downside of moving from place to place is having to have new set of friends. i loved and miss having girl friends my age whom i could tell everything to. i miss it when laetitia and i woud talk on the phone for hours even though we've been together all day at school. i miss "ping-pong" texting costi from am to pm. i miss having raff around in the middle of the night when i needed to vent and cry and she'd be there to listen. i miss listening to laura's boy problems and loved it when she told me stuff coz i was the person who "never flipped out". i just miss my friendships in cyprus. 2 years have passed but i still can't forget them.

here, everyone's older than i am. like with roxanne, she's my closest friend and better yet, she's like a sister. i tell her everything and she gives me great advice. but i sometimes still long for someone my own age. coz with roxanne, she's already thinking about marriage with her bf and i'm like way behind that. she's like the big sister i never had but it's just different. we have so much in common but of course, as the older one, she has to set good examples for me. lol. but me, i want someone to tell me to take risks. i'm still exploring the world, meeting new people, etc. i want to have a bestfriend who would talk to me about boys, clothes and silly things. someone who would tell me that i look fat in that dress or someone who would hook me up with a guy. i need some drama too! lol.

my other friends here are great. but then there's that wall between us. personal, cultural, etc. backgrounds. i usually don't let differences get in the way when i meet new people and try my hardest . one time, i told mickee "she's my friend" and mickee's answer was "she had ONE class with you and you call her your friend??" that's when i realized who should i call a friend in today's world?!!

polly, my co-worker and whom i became close with for the past year left and she became my bestfriend. but god has better things planned for her. it was so nice having her around coz i saw her everyday at school and we were in the same environment. but i know she's happy where she's at now :)

another realization is that i don't have that many friends. call me a loner if you will. but for me, it's a good thing. i'd rather have a few friends whom i can trust and know me inside- out than a lot of friends whom i don't know a shit about.

but at the end of the day, the only person who i can really count on is myself...



c'est la vie.