sick and tired of always being sick and tired

...and no, I'm no longer surfing the crimson wave. I'm just plain pissed.

I'm just exhausted because of certain people. The kind of people who use me for their own benefits. Yes, I should be thankful for some of their generosities to me but sometimes I feel like I'm used to make them look good. I also don't mind doing stuff for them... but it's like when I lend a helping hand, they go ahead and take the other hand too. I don't even know if they realize it.

Drained Brain

Perhaps that's why I have had nothing interesting to write about for the past couple of blogs. My brain is squeezed with so many things to think about. I have mentioned before that stress and me don't work well together.

I've had a migraine since yesterday but thankfully it's slowly going away... after 2 Tylenol PM, 3 Tylenol capsules and 1 (I don't even know the name of the pill), it's statting to go away. But yeah... I hope it continues to go away. It bugs me coz I didn't get to work today and wasn't able to meet up with Polly and Mickee :( The one time that we can all hang out, I get this nasty, monsterous headache. But Polly said Friday noon might work so fingers crossed!!!

Since I wasn't feeling very well, I got to stay in and watch The Ellen show. I haven't caught it for awhile and always had to watch episodes on YouTube. Anyhoo, today, a Filipina girl named Charice Pempengco performed there. She got discovered on YouTube and Ellen Degeneres invited her to the show. So I managed to watch that today it and she was amazing as always. She teared up which made Ellen tear up a little bit as well. Bianca Ryan, eat your heart out! Lol. And Sam Concepcion who?

Charice might have not won Little Big Star (the singing contest that didn't really acknowledge her talent) but it just goes to show that what other people don't see in you, are acknowledged by other people. Sure, Sam Concepcion won the title of LBS, but did he ever get to meet Ellen? NUH UH!

Hahaha, okay. I'm starting to drain my brain again.

Ciao!

*sigh* (The bad kind)

I'm irrititated. REALLY irritated. So right now I'm trying to find my Zen place and loving state of being. *Breathe in, breathe out* Let's just say I'm glad the quarter is finally over. But seriously, why did I feel it was going to happen beforehand? Thank goodness I did or I would've been more pissed than I already am. It happened, it's over. I can't do anything about now. Shithead.

Now I'm just gathering stuff for my university applications and trying to relax as much as possible. Work again tomorrow and the days to come.

Waiting for my grades as well. 1 week. We'll see what my GPA is this time.

I think I'm gonna go back to bed.

zZzZzZzzzzz.....

Stressed and Overwhelmed are I.

I hate being stressed. These bags of emotions are just piling up and I'm not liking one bit of it. My mom left yesterday so that added to the stress. I'm kind of still getting used to the idea of her not being here. I mean, I've been apart from her for 8 months once... but now I'm just getting used to her not being here again. Another Christmas without my family :( Christmas is just gonna be another day. Oh well.

I'm also stressed because university application deadlines are nearing! Well one of the universities I'm applying to, anyway. It's January 15 and the other one is April 1. I've already started my personal statement essay, I just have to edit it here and there. I just have to complete the actual application as well, take a standardized test and gather other requirements. It's so overwhelming.

Speaking of being overwhelmed. As crazy as it may sound, I feel like I have the next 9 months of my life planned out! It was and still is necessary for me to think ahead because things are just happening too fast.

January- ISOP, university application due.
February- TOEFL (or in March)
March- Mom might come back.
April- University application due.
May- Renew passport.
June- Graduation.
July- Trip to L.A.
August- Visit Philippines
Renew my student visa
September- Start university!!!

Do you see what I mean?!! But it's good, at least I'm being organized and "in the know".

This month is just as bad... Just finished with my SpCmu final last Tuesday and I also managed to finish and turn in my Music perspective paper. What's left to do for this quarter is Statistics final on Monday and perspective paper for SpCmu due on Tuesday! Then there goes my MLT at UW next week. AND THEN I have to start working for ISOP. PHEW!!

It was good and helpful to vent. Thanks for reading. I'm out.

Almost There!

4 more days of classes!! Oh Em Gee. This quarter just flew by so fast. It's kinda sad coz I'm just getting the "gist" (new word I learned from a professor--haha) of the topics of my classes. But at the same time I'm glad it's finally over. I felt like this was the only quarter I truly worked my ass off in terms of my classes. And I'm proud :) And my online Music professor acknowledged (sort off!!) it today in the Announcements section of Blackboard :):

I have just finished reading your comparisons for this week and want to commend you, as a class, for doing very well - much better, collectively, than previous classes.

I especially liked Venus' comment, "Higdon and Zwillich are basically the modern and female version of Debussy and Stravinsky."

Heck yes! He quoted me. LOL.

My mom leaves on Wednesday. It's saddens me but I know she really wants to spend Christmas with the family and relatives back home. She spent Christmas here last year and she loathed it. Hahaha. Can't blame her, really! At least she'll get to spend time with her beloved grandson, my nephew, who is getting wittier by the day like his aunt :p Hopefully I get to celebrate the holidays seasons in Philippines or Cyprus next year.

Anyhoo, time to work harder for finals!

La Vita e` Bella!

That Time of Year to Be Thankful :)

First off, Happy Thanksgiving!

Can't say I stuffed my face with food today. I decided that I don't like turkeys. I still prefer chickens. Hahaha. I had a lot of potato salad though :P

Last year, in my other blog, I made a list of people that I'm thankful for. Kinda don't want to do that again this year since it's pretty much the same :) I'm thankful for everything that surround or revolve around my life.

I'm going Black Friday shopping in a bit :) I've never experienced it before. I don't even know what I want to buy. I just want to see the chaos. Hahaha.

Anyhoo, I kinda don't what else to write. Just killing time by watching Kathy Griffin on YouTube. So funny.
My favorite quotes:
"Yeah, Nicole Richie and her Barphoreum"
"If you're Destiny's Child, who's Destiny's daddy?"

LMAO.

Peace.

"Never Give Up On The Good Times"

Wow, my last post was Oct. 23?! Was I that busy? Or did I just choose not to post anything? Hehehe. Either way, I'm posting now. (huh, vagueness).

What to say-- nothing much. Except yesterday, I spent 2 hours on YouTube watching Spice Girls videos. I miss them. Hahaha. They remind me so much of my childhood, pre-teen and early-teen years. They're f*cking awesome. They created the definition of pop music! I'm not really a fan of pop music now but watching Posh, Ginger, Scary, Sporty and Baby again reminded me of how great pop music was. Pop music now is rubbish, sorry to say.

I remember how obsessed I was with them. I'd collect magazines, posters, CDs, record (old school VHS style) their concerts, interviews and documentaries on TV, etc.

It is great that they are doing a reunion tour. If only they came here in Seattle, and if only their tickets were cheap-- I'd see them in a heartbeat.


Spice Girls Forever! :D

P.S. I guess I did have quite a lot to say ;)

One of my favourite songs of their's

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uOy263Dgvyc

L.A., here I come.

Okay, so I broke the "no more 16 oz." rule ONCE-- with a 12oz. . And I just realized that I need one more stamp on my punch card and I can get a free coffee. Anyhoo.

So invitations of backpacking out of town have been pouring. Thanksgiving in L.A., Christmas break in Orlando/ L.A., Spring break in New York, Mexico/Hawaii for summer, etc. But I've had my mind set on L.A. for summer, after graduation. I figured that it'd be a more meaningful vacation, celebrating graduation, yada yada yada. But of course, I'm gonna have to save for it. Just adds a special touch to my motivation factor :)

I'm off to bed.

No more 16oz.'s, missy!!

I hate myself. I know I can avoid buying and wasting money and yet, I'm too weak. I'm letting that Whidbey Coffee stand on campus take away my money. Everyday, I throw away about $2 on hot chocolate. If I avoided it, that's like saving $10 per week , $40 per month... Sheesh. That's like a good hoodie from Hollister right there. From tomorrow and on, I'll stop!!!! No more coffee stands for me.

But then there's always that seductive, overpriced Starbucks. When I strolled the mall with my aunt today to pay bills, used my debit to buy a soy white chocolate mocha... ARGHHHH.

NO MORE!!

I have to be cautious of my spending. After all, it's my own money that I'm spending. I've been using my own earnings for my allowance and everyday spending. I just depend on le papa's account on big academic things like tuitions, books, etc. But since I got a job last year, I'd been paying my phone bill, shopping money, etc. Heck, I'm even paying for my TOEFL test... (which makes me think why?.... Hahaha, it's for my academics... hmmm. Hahaha.) But yeah, I feel like I haven't saved anything since I got a job... Except for that first paycheck which I saved in le papa's account.

I really want to save up for 2 things: For a car and for a nice gradutation trip.

We'll see what happens...

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

Wow, no blogging for a week, Venus, is thatchu?

I guess I just don't want to talk about things. I'm frustrated. Ah, whatever. Classes are going well, work is fine, friends are well yada yada yada. I'm just feeling weird and I don't like feeling weird.

Seattle has been nice to me for the past 2 years. But I feel like something is still missing. Duh, human beings are never satisfied but whatever. I've moved from place to place all my life that perhaps I get bored with staying in one place. Seattle, Shoreline Community College specifically, served as my comfort zone but I want to get out of it. I want to find a new group of people, new faces. Not that people at Shoreline are not nice (they're the coolest!) but I just want to meet new people and venture on new things. I know I still haven't finished serving my purpose at Shoreline yet and hence why I'm not out of there yet. But I wanna leave, soon.

My two choices for university transfer are (I don't wanna say in case I jinx it--) but one is here in Seattle and one is still within the state but somewhere further. As much as I want to stay in familiar Seattle, I want to move to a new location and experience having an apartment or living in a dorm. We'll see what happens, time will tell. After university, I can't believe I'm done. Hello real world. But then again, I thought college was the real world. Hahaha, kidding. It is real, kids. Stay in school. Wtf? :P

Old Friends.

I got in contact with old friends today and it was amazing. It wasn't like we lost touch, it was just that all of us were busy with our ish that we never really get to talk with each other on a regular basis. Anyhoo, I got to have a conference call with Tish, Raff and Costi on Skype today for like an hour and I had a blast!! It was so nice to hear from them and it was so funny how Raff was making fun of the accent that I've acquired. "AMERICANO!!!" hahahaha. And then I asked if they've moved to their dorms and she was like "Yeah but they'Re not called "doRms", they'Re called halls"... hahaha, stop making fun of my strong "R's", okay? :P I missed their British accents so much :) Costi was like "we haven't sta-H-ted ou-H-a lehc-chu-H-s yet [we haven't started our lectures yet]".. hahah, I love it :p And Tish was laughing half of the time. I love those bitches :D

It just hit me that high school is a very important time in a girl's life. Coz it's where you find lifetime friends who you'll call your friends for a long time. It sucks that I started college here in the U.S. coz most of my friends have their own high school friends and I have no one. Well I have a couple [Roxanne, Polly and Cindy] whom I call my real friends but high school friends are just very different. They're off the same age and you go through shit together in classes. But in college, since it's on a quarterly basis, I feel like I have to make new friends every 3 months. And those friends I've made in the previous 3 months just kinda go away since I don't see them anymore.

Raff asked me if I have loads of friends and I really didn't know what to answer... I mean yeah, I DO have friends but it's a very different and still unfamiliar group of friends. It's more of an individual thing. Like when I hang out with Roxanne, I can't really tell Cindy to tag along since Roxanne and her don't know each other and I know there will be impending awkwardness. I just want to find a group of friends that I can hang out with all together!! I really miss my friends in Cyprus, I felt like I belonged somewhere, know what I mean? :( Oh well.

Another thing, one of my classmates back in Cyprus is now studying in California. I know I shouldn't really care of her whereabouts but I think I'm jealous! She's freaking studying Fashion Merchandising/ Design (not my field of interest but get this--) she's in L.A. ... in Santa Monica to be exact! And freak, she goes to clubs like Area... that's where people from The Hills go!! I don't know why it bothers me so much.... hahaha. It's not like I wanna live a rich kid's life but.. oh I dunno. Shut up, Venus. Hahahaha

Okies, Laguna Beach time! :P

P.S. I can't believe they let her in Area... haha, I thought it was hard to get in there or something. You gotta have like connections or whatever. WHATEVER. *__*

Reality Dramas are Love :)

Before I start talking about my subject, just want to say that college is just wonderful. I get my classes. Not necessarily that I know everything but I'm willing to learn and understand what's being taught. LOVE ITTTT!!! Believe it or not, I always look forward to waking up early in the morning to take a shower and then rush my way to my 8:30am Statistics class. It goes by really fast then time for Speech Comm. class. I love that class too :D For various reasons, by the way... let's leave it at that :P

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

For the past week, I've been watching Laguna Beach on mtv.com... I know, right? Hahaha. I just love The Hills so much that I wanted to see if Laguna Beach was any good. I've seen episodes of Season 3 before and didn't really like it. But now, I'm done with season 1 and about 3 episodes more til' I get done with season 2 :) It's alright... it contains more of a high school-going-to-college drama as to where The Hills is more of a grown up one. It's okay. What is it that attracts TV watchers to these drama-full, kinda-fake-looking, reality shows?! Hahaha. It's just very interesting. I know most people would be like "ugh, why are you watching that??" (I was one of those people). But if you actually sit down and watch every episode, you'll understand what I mean!! I can never relate to those Laguna Beach/The Hills people but I love how they become real or "come to life" or whatever you wanna call it. Like with Kristin Cavallari, she's such a bitch. Hahaha. But as fake as most people think Laguna Beach is, there could be a Kristin somewhere out there. LOL.

Call me crazy but it's fun to watch these rich kids live their Hollywood life.

Whateva!

Blah number 2

Today was just perfect bliss. Everything people told me, it's just what I wanted to hear :) I was kinda expecting someone to rain on my parade. Coz it always happens. It's like people have radars or something. When everything's going the way I want it, someone just barges in and steals my thunder. But today was just perfect. You can steal my thunder tomorrow, not tonight! Hahaha.

But for some reason, it's like I'm raining on my own parade... I feel like something's missing. I know most human beings are never satisfied or contented with what they have so yeah... I'm probably under that most human beings. Anyhoo.

Application deadline for UW is nearing... checked the online application, not available yet. *wipes sweatdrop*. As soon as I get my paycheck, I seriously have to register for TOEFL. Hopefully I'll have everything set by mid to end of November... so I can enjoy December. Hahaha. Deadline for UW is January 15 while Western's is April 1. So yeah. Got a potential good news but won't talk a lot about it so I won't jinx it. *sigh* I hope everything works out fine.

Gonna hit the pillows.

Blah.

3 days into the quarter and I'm still surprisingly motivated to do well... and so far I am doing well :) I know I shouldn't speak too soon but I just want this positive aura or good spirits to drag on until the quarter ends. Homework still bums me out but what's new, eh? At least this time, I want to do my homework (but still get tired of course).


For Math class (Statistics), I'm having a blast. It's officially my favorite math so far. The involvement of numbers just amazes me. Hahaha. I hope I really do well in this class.

Multicultural Communication class... loving it! I can't really say at this point that communication is my forte but it's something I really enjoy and it's the path I want to take. The beauty of it is that it's such a broad field that I can venture on. *sigh*

Music class is okay... not much to say coz it's an online class. I just have to keep track of what is due when all that jazz.

Anyhoo. Time for homework! :)

Back to school.

I can't believe that in less than an hour, I'll be sitting in a class again. I'm not ready. But in the back of my mind, I'm ready to work hard and prove myself. But that hindering thought that my brain turned into mush during my 1 month-and-some-days vacation still haunts me.

I checked my schedule last night and had a good look at it for the first time since I registered. It's not that bad actually. First class starts at 8:30am and then I get done with the 2nd class at 10:20am. Then one class is online. Great right? I get done early. More time for homework and work :) Thing that I don't like though is the walk I'm going to have to make for the rest of the quarter. First class is in the 2200 bldg. and 2nd class is in the 800 bldg. I'll have 10 minutes to do that walk so we'll see how that goes...

More later. Gotta get ready.

"Just Believe"

Monday-Saturday, I worked more than 40 hours. I feel so good though. Being tired was all worth it. Within the past of couple of weeks, I feel like I grew up as a person. Can't really explain it but I just feel it within. I can finally say that I've accomplished A LOT by my 19 years of age.

Sure, I've doubted myself along the way. But I guess I needed to do that to know that people are appreciating what I do. Plus screwing up is acceptable in life. It's when you learn. Also, I wouldn't be where I am at right now if people didn't believe in my abilities. It's just hard to forsee my potentials especially if I work with an amazing group of people.

Right now, I am so thankful of what I have. This person told me time and again to just believe in myself and "things will go to your (my) favor". And that person is absolutely right. Putting myself down isn't going to help. Believing in myself is the key. I learned, I believed and succeeded. I still have a long journey to repeat that process again and again and I can't wait to ride it.

I feel like a 25 year old trapped in a 19 year old's body. Hahahaha...

My being pansy side.

I'm soooo tired... I'm not complaining. I'm just making a statement... hahaha, vagueness. I feel like I lost weight, LOL. Haven't been sleeping much plus I walk around 90% of the time during orientation days. Day 3 tomorrow. Not as intense but still lots of work. Oh well. C'est la vie.

People's first impressions of me are snobby, stuck up, bitchy, unapproachable and anything along those lines... Is it because of my lack of communication? (how ironic would that be since that's my major... hahaha) or is it how I communicate?... I really don't know... But whatever reason, I really hope people would change their negative impression of me. I love to help people and I'm very much approachable. Oh well. People don't know that I have a tendency to be fragile. I always tell my friends to create a tougher skin... but I find myself not doing that. I liked what my friend told me today "choose what you need to hear". So true. Maybe I'm just being pansy about my feelings and how people react to me. But I can't help it. Although I'm sometimes breaking inside, I don't like showing people my vulnerability. It's just not me. But sometimes I just reach my lowest point and break out.

Stress and I don't go well together. I noticed that I talk too fast when I'm stressed out and don't know what the hell I'm saying. And I snap at people and I don't like one bit of it. I feel bad.

Life's what you really make it.

^__^

I was trying on a pair of UGGs today and I was like "do they grow?"... hahaha. I meant to say "do they stretch out?"LOL. Anyhoo, I ordered mine already. They didn't have my size or the color I wanted so I just placed an order. They should arrive by next week :) I'll finally own a pair. Been wanting them for the longest time. My mom paid for them first since I'm kinda broke. Heehee. Thanks mother. I owe you... alot... literally. HAHA.

Worked this passed week. Pretty laid back. I felt like I was just there to answer questions. It was mentally draining but it's all fine :P On Monday, I gotta be at work by 6:30am. Orientation gets done around 5pm (including take down) and then I gotta work extra hours at the office. It's gonna be the longest day ever. No complaints though coz I've done this like what, 4-5 times already? But the difference this time is that I'm not working within a team. I'm working with a team with a different role. Let's just say I've paid my dues :p

School starts on the 24th. I can't wait. I want to redeem myself.

That's all for now. Viva Le Uggs. (HAHAHAHA)- wtf?:P

Fears and Dreams: Life in General

Life is not something that should be perfect. I always say, perfection is a flaw in itself (or was it Jolie who said something similar to that?--anyhoo, lol). In life having everything the way you want sounds nice but to get to that state, you have to work hard for it. Well, at least I have/do.

Lately, something's been really bothering me and I don't even want to fixate or put an emphasis to it but I guess paranoia's just taking a toll on me. I know I shouldn't worry and it's probably nothing. And I feel like the more I make a big deal out of it, the more chance of it that it's becoming true so no more thinking about it!! And plus I don't want people who are close to me to get worried coz there's probably nothing to be worried about.

On the same note, I feel like I should live my life to the fullest. Not necessarily go bungee jumping or do crazy things but appreciate life more. Show those who are close to me that I love and care about them. Or just be happy that I was given this life to experience and all the aspects that come with it. I want to gain many experiences as much as I can. From falling in love to heartbreaks, from being high on a pedestal to hitting a low point. I want to travel, meet people, have kids, a husband and live in a house with that white picket fence. You never know when your journey in life is gonna end so why not dream of all the possibilities in the world? :)

Dreaming is not a bad thing coz it's free to dream. But reaching that dream isn't free, it's priceless. In my 19 years of life, I can confidently say that I've accomplished quite a lot. I grew up as a decent individual, thanks to my parents' nurturing. The most "rebellious" thing I've ever done was to break a curfew. But surely I wasn't the perfect daughter since school is not really my game. However I make the effort.

And now, I've never been so determined in my life to do well in everything. But along the way, I won't mind if something happens and I screw up coz screwing is a big part of life. It's when you learn. Overcoming and tackling challenges is the key.

[[[[I have no idea why I'm blabbing I should probably stop]]]]

C'est la vie.

I'm a pig!!!

LOL.

How can a person eat so much?!! Hahaha. Here are what I ate today!

Breakfast:
Parmesan bagle with 2 strips of bacon and a cup of green tea

[Did 15 minutes weights and ran 20 minutes on the treadmill]

Lunch:
Chinese food. Enough said!

Snack:
Watermelon seeds
Quaker Oats granola
A plum
Green Tea

Dinner:
Pork chop, fried rice, potato salad and a big ass slice of mud pie for dessert.

Right now I feel so fat. UGHHHHH. My morning exercise basically just went down the drain, lol.

This was totally not worth sharing.

This Ship Has Sailed.

The title had multiple meanings today:

*My somewhat new job is making me feel very different about myself. A good different which I like.

*Past failures will be my motivation to work harder from now on.

*And the weirdest thing happened when I woke up. My cell is usually on silent when I'm sleeping so there are no interruptions. Lol. I always check the time from my cell when I wake up so I did such when I woke up today. "1 missed call". I never expected to get a call from him. He was the last person I expected a call from. I was weirded out by it. I woke up at 9:45am and he called less than 15 mins before that. Anyhoo. After a few hours [by few I mean 2 hours], I texted him and pretended I didn't know the number (well it was more of my lack of certainty coz since I was so weirded out by it, I just wanted to make sure it was him):

Me: Who's this?
Him: It's ...., don't you remember me?
Me: Oh, hi. Sorry, my phonebook got wiped out.
Him: Really? But I still remember you [uhhh, what?!--no connection!] So what's up?
Me: Nothing much. Working and studying basically. How about you?
Him: Same thing as you.

Then that was it. Didn't reply back since he never asked anything else. Was that weird or what? I haven't heard from the guy in so long. I can't believe I actually pushed myself to him when he wasn't interested. I was thinking alot about it today. I was such a stupid girl back then. Maybe I still am... but ugh, seriously, thinking about it made me feel, I don't know. It's unexplainable! But yeah, what the heck does he want? [sorry for the harshness]

This ship has sailed... Ain't gonna let anyone rain on my parade.

It's Okay.

My dad bought a laptop today. It's a 2007 Acer with Windows Vista installed in it. He asked me if I wanted to switch with him. He'll get my old Toshiba Satellite and I'll get the new one...

I rejected the offer. Sometimes there are some problems with this Toshiba so I know that if my dad uses this, he'll flip about how it freezes, bla bla bla. Coz me, I can handle it when it freezes, I'm so used to it. And plus I want him to have the new one, he deserves it. I'll just save up for a new laptop and buy it next year. I mean, I've just had this one for a couple of years and it's not that bad. It still works fine. All I use are the internet, MS Word/Excel, Movie Maker and iTunes (to which I have not re-installed yet). But yeah, apart from the occasional freezing, it's still good :)

I'll get a better laptop next year ;) I'll save... or rather... prepare to be broke, Daddy. Hahaha, jaaaykaayyy :p

Friends

no, not the show. although i do love the show :p but i'm talking about real life friends. oh wait, rewind to yesterday first. my birthday was a blast. it was a small get-together but sweet. i had my parents present, what more could i have asked for? :)

so back to the subject of friends... i'm so appreciative of my friends back in cyprus. i feel bad and selfish when i think that they don't care and whatnot. coz they really care... they have their own busy lives now but during special occassions like my birthday, they never fail to greet me and i love them for it. 2 years have passed but it seems like they're not too far... as corny as that may sound. sure, there's that gap of missed times but in a little corner of their hearts, i know i still have a place there... just how they have a special spot in mine. whenever i see group pictures of them, i always think "i should've been there". but i guess everything happens for reason. i was separated miles away from them to venture on other things this life has to offer. at the same time, i also got to know who my real friends are. the ones who never fail to drop a line, ask how i am are the ones who'll always be with me.

since i came here, i never really found another group of friends like them. i guess the downside of moving from place to place is having to have new set of friends. i loved and miss having girl friends my age whom i could tell everything to. i miss it when laetitia and i woud talk on the phone for hours even though we've been together all day at school. i miss "ping-pong" texting costi from am to pm. i miss having raff around in the middle of the night when i needed to vent and cry and she'd be there to listen. i miss listening to laura's boy problems and loved it when she told me stuff coz i was the person who "never flipped out". i just miss my friendships in cyprus. 2 years have passed but i still can't forget them.

here, everyone's older than i am. like with roxanne, she's my closest friend and better yet, she's like a sister. i tell her everything and she gives me great advice. but i sometimes still long for someone my own age. coz with roxanne, she's already thinking about marriage with her bf and i'm like way behind that. she's like the big sister i never had but it's just different. we have so much in common but of course, as the older one, she has to set good examples for me. lol. but me, i want someone to tell me to take risks. i'm still exploring the world, meeting new people, etc. i want to have a bestfriend who would talk to me about boys, clothes and silly things. someone who would tell me that i look fat in that dress or someone who would hook me up with a guy. i need some drama too! lol.

my other friends here are great. but then there's that wall between us. personal, cultural, etc. backgrounds. i usually don't let differences get in the way when i meet new people and try my hardest . one time, i told mickee "she's my friend" and mickee's answer was "she had ONE class with you and you call her your friend??" that's when i realized who should i call a friend in today's world?!!

polly, my co-worker and whom i became close with for the past year left and she became my bestfriend. but god has better things planned for her. it was so nice having her around coz i saw her everyday at school and we were in the same environment. but i know she's happy where she's at now :)

another realization is that i don't have that many friends. call me a loner if you will. but for me, it's a good thing. i'd rather have a few friends whom i can trust and know me inside- out than a lot of friends whom i don't know a shit about.

but at the end of the day, the only person who i can really count on is myself...



c'est la vie.

Achhhhooooo!!!

I have no idea how many times I've sneezed today. Seriously. When I woke up, I must've sneezed like 4-5 times continously. It's ridicioulous.

Anyhoo, my 1st season of The Hills arrived yesterday and I finished it. Lol. I watched 5 episodes last night and 5 episodes today and now I'm re-watching all the episodes of season 2. I loooove it.

I feel so fat right now. I ate a quarter pounder, medium fries and a soda. Hello, fatness! :p who cares, I'll shed it off tomorrow :p

Gotta wake up early tomorrow to pick up my dad at the airport. His arrival is 8:45am. So excited. He called me today, probably before he departed, but I was working so I missed it. Work was intense today. Had to move boxes from the storage to the office! 2 trips with that huge ass green cart. I was sweating... lol. Didn't need to run... *ACHOOO!* holy crap... anyhoo, yeah, I didn't need to run on the treadmill since I sweated a lot today. Shipping was done for Turkey. Yeah yeah! 2 weeks of break for me. Woooohhooo.

My head has been hurting for the past 2 days. I really hope I don't get sick coz when I was little, I had a history of getting sick for my birthday. Arghh. I feel like I'm having a cold. Whatever.

I loves the weather today. It was sunny but not that hot... well for me. People have been complaining that it was too hot, I was okay with it... maybe my temperature's just different. Oh well. And tonight was okay too. A little breeze but not that cold :)

*Sniff* uh-oh...

"... the rest is still unwritten"

I love that song. Loved it since it came out which was like what more than a year ago? Hehehe.

Anyhoo, watching The Hills right now... that's right, my DVDs finally came... BUT the 2nd season arrived first. My plan was to watch the 1st season first, beginning to end and then watch the 2nd season. But I can't wait anymore!! Haha, so I popped in the 2nd season already :P I hope the 1st season arrives in the mail tomorrow. I didn't realize that they didn't really produce that many episodes... I think I saw all of season 2 and never saw the first few episodes of season 1. But I don't care, I'm still watching them again :)

Told my dad about my switch of major... he supports me 100%! I was scared of nothing. Phew. I'm so happy right now. And NOW I can truly, honestly say that I'm looking forward to see him on Saturday! He said we'll sit down and discuss about it. Yay. It'll be a great 2 week vacation with him.

Worked today at the office for 3 hours. Might work on Friday too. Then my "proper" summer vacation! 2 weeks :) Then off to work I go again on Sept. 10.

Hakson sent the pictures from our photoshoot. Roxanne had a lot of nice pics. I had blah pics. I need a make up artist next time. Hakson's a good photographer, I'm just not a good model LOL. I've given up on trying to be one. HAHAHA

That's it! LOL ^__^

Spencer sucks.

Just Believe

Last night was fun. Got to hang out with Garry & Anna. They're both leaving Seattle which bums me out but I know i'll see them some day :) I will miss them muchos though :(

With G.

Christina, me, Anna, Garry and Nina

Anna's shorter for a change. Harhar.

Our infamous model poses.

With Gar's glasses.
Gonna miss you both!!

I'm beattttttt. Driving lesson was a blast today. Getting better! I love my instructor today. I hope I'll have her in my future drives too! Photoshoot with Hakson and Roxanne finally happened today! Hopefully pictures came out good. Didn't have much shots coz I wasn't really in the mood... lol.

Ciao :)

P.S: Dear God, I know I barely talk to you and only resort to you when I need strength (like now) and haven't been really thanking you lately. So, THANK YOU for the blessings you have given me for the past few months. For always being there supporting me and guiding me. Please continue to support and guide in this crazy life and please never get tired of me. Continue to give me strength and will.

^I still believe^

Somehow feeling the summer break.

My feet hurt from all the walking but yesterday was so fun!! Me, ate and Roxanne and kuya Ag went to Seattle and pretended to be tourists! Haha.First, got to Seattle Center. Bought Right the Ducks (RTD) tickets and then went inside Experience Music Project. Expected more out of it but it was okay, nonetheless. I love the Sound Lab where we got to play with different instruments. And got to do "vocals". Hahaha. Ate Roxanne with her stint singing Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nivana, screaming: "Hello, hello, hello" HILARIOUS!!

Then we had to kill more time coz RTD started at 5:30pm. So we had lunch inside Seattle Center, took picture by the fountain, played at the arcade and then Science Fiction Museum. Not much again. Just a bunch of sci-fi movies displayed.Finally, RTD. Waited in line for more than 30 minutes. Ride took about 2 hours. Rather mundane but was fun.

Before we rode:

Guy: Where are you guys from??

Kuya Ag: Oh, she's from Greece (points at me)

We're taking her around

Guy: Wow, you came all the way... how long are you staying?

Me: Uhhh, 2 weeks

Guy: Cool! Have fun guys!

::Ate Roxanne laughs:::

Kuya Ag: What? We're actors!LOL!!!!

Then after we had dinner in Chinatown then home.

It was a lot of fun. Really felt like I was on a break :) Sun was out and shining too! But towards late afternoon it started raining. Also rained today. So much for a summer vacation! But hopefully the sun will come out more this week.

Drove today around the parking alot. Pretty fun. Uncle Ariel is a really good teacher :p But I hate driving the Sienna. It's so dang big for me.

I'm gonna work tomorrow... yay :) My The Hills DVDs should be arriving between Tuesday and Thursday. Arrive already! Haha. And my dad's coming this Saturday :p So many things to look forward to. Sigh.

Welcome Summer Break!

My summer vacation officially starts tomorrow. Well it kinda started today after I've submitted my onlineexam but tomorrow is when I don't have to think about any homework to hand in... well, for a month at least :p

I was working my butt off for History yesterday and finally did my final exam. Did well by the way on the Geology exam yesterday. But didn't so well in the class as whole. And as for History, don't know what I got for the final exam but you know what? I don't really care anymore. Don't get me wrong, I haven't lost faith in myself. But I know I did my best and I'm not going to bully myself. I want to enjoy this summer as much as I can :)

Today, after I did my online exam, got picked up by Roxanne then we went on campus to pay my tuition. After that she dropped me off at my dentist while she did an errand at the bank. Picked me up from the dentist then went to Whole Foods by the U and ate there... also chit-chatted a lot. Then went to Hamlin Park and just chatted some more. After that we went to see the recreational pool by my house then went to Marshall's and Sears to looks for bathing suits. No luck. Then she finally took me home :) On Saturday we're going to have a day out again but with her bf this time :) Hope it doesn't rain though!

Tomorrow I'm going with my mom to the salon and just keep her company while she gets hair done :)

Can't wait to get my The Hills DVDs... I'm so ready to watch them! Just got an email that one of them shipped already.. Yeah yeah!

Oh, and So You think You Can Dance ended tonight... Lacey didn't win :( But my second favorite, Sabra, did :) I still can't believe Lacey placed fourth though, Neil third and Danny 2nd. Danny's good but I just didn't feel him. Oh well, at least a girl won this season :p

Anyhoo, I think I'm just gonna watch random vids on YouTube then go to bed :)

My Laptop hates me.

Woke up at 6am today and now it's nearly 8am. I shouldn't be really blogging but I just have to! Lol. I have some more notes to do before Geology's final exam later. I've got approximately 2 hours. I could've finished it yesterday but my stupid laptop crashed!... ARGH!!!!

I was doing my History study guide and everything was going well but then the power outlet of my laptop got loose but I didn't worry since MS Word automatically saves the "unsaved" document. So I tightened the charger, the laptop turned on but it kept saying error and it wouldn't get to the desktop. So that only meant one thing... RECOVERY DISC! But that meant all files in the laptop had to be wiped out! Pictures, music (iTunes!!!), videos, etc.! (It happened last year so I'm not new to it). After about an hour and a half of trying to bring the darn laptop back to life, I RE-DID my History... only got to 2 essay questions. SHIZZ. Then rest of the afternoon I studied for Geology. To which I have to continue in a few minutes. Seriously, this laptop hates me.

I just want to do well for today's exam. Big Man up there, be with me por favor!!

:)

UPDATE:
Took the whole time for Geology... I even did the extra credit at the end. Kinda crap-wrote whatever but hopefully I'll get some points out of it :p I think I generally did okay... fingers crossed! My hand hurt by the end of the exam. I'm really not used to writing by hand anymore.
One more exam to go... History... JOY. I'll study later.

So You Think You Can Dance finale is on at 8 tonight. Yay. Go Lacey :) Imagine she wins... her brother won last year. But Lacey really deserves to win... she's sooo good :)

I just placed my order on Amazon a few minutes ago. Seasons 1 and 2 of The Hills. YAAAY. I saw almost all of Season 1 last summer and I got hooked. And then Season 2, saw bits and pieces of it and loved it. (Never knew when it was on..haha). Then Season 3 just started last Monday but never caught it. It's okay... I'm gonna watch Season 1 and 2 all over again [summer marathon... yeah yeah!] and I bet before Season 3's finale, they'll show the whole thing again so I'm not really gonna miss out. I know it's one of those fake looking reality series with a bunch of snobby, rich kids but it's just very interesting :) It's different from Laguna Beach... sort of. Haha. Whatever, I like it okay?! :p

So excited to receive them :) It's my present for myself on my birthday (along with my Vans) Haha. (That's what I'll say when they arrive!) Coz I've been ordering Friends DVDs and whenever they come, my mom would be like "Tsk tsk, DVD na naman. Save your money!" LOL. Then when Dante's Peak came a couple of weeks ago, I was like "this doesn't count, it's only $4.50 and it's for extra credit for Geology class!" HAHAHA. And with The Hills, "it's my gift for myself." Good plan, huh? :P

Anyhoo, I'm gonna go take a nap for an hour. Night night :x

Finals Week: The Hindrance.

Finals week is a drag. You can almost feel summer break but there's a nasty hindrance when you think about the exams. Oh well. After Thursday, I'm a free lady!

Things to do--

Today:
*Do History study guide (at least more than half of it)
*Do Geology Study Guide + notes

Tomorrow:
*Geology exam from 10:30am-1pm!!
*Go to the bank: Get check for Fall '07 tuition due Aug. 16, Thursday, 5pm.
Deposit check if it comes in the mail today or tomorrow morning.

Thursday:
*History online final exam due by noon. (Therefore, have study guide ready by Thursday, 9am and just copy/paste-- it's legitimate, okay?!)
*Go to campus and pay tuition
*Work if needed

Then the fun'll begin! :)

Friday:
Go with mother to the salon

Saturday:
Day out with Roxanne and her man, Aeegee :) Experience Music Project (EMP), Ride the Ducks and dinner at Chinatown :)

Sunday:
Photo day with Hakson and Roxanne :)

^Venus will work her ass off right now^

There's always a first for everything...

So I did my first drive last Saturday... it was a disaster. 20 minutes into driving around the parking lot, I crash the VW Jetta into a curb filled with bushes and managed to blow up the right front tire. Great Ve, just great. Grabe, I rock! (that's my broken self-esteem being sarcastic). I was doing so well then BOOM!! My instructor said I "locked" my hands holding the steering wheel. I kept saying sorry but he said I was getting the hang of my left turns and told me not worry because that's why I was there, to learn. And that worse things have happened. I just broke a tire, no biggie. At least it didn't require having to call a tow-truck. Phew. Then Maria came to the rescue and Ed didn't know that there was a spare tire at the back so Maria helped Ed change the tire. I kinda helped too with that jack thingamabobbers. Hehehe. Then my time was up so I had to reschedule the drive. Oh well. Maria told me to ride with her in the Beetle on the way back to the school. I said sorry to her as well and she said it's okay, as long as I'm okay and didn't get hurt, it's all that matters. They're uber nice. Then 2nd hour was observation and this girl who I observed was a really good driver! I learned a lot. She was so aware of the road!

Then I told my mom, uncles, aunt, friends and they all said it's not my fault and all that shizz. But I feel so bad!! I feel like a failure. But one day I know I'll just look back at this and laugh it..

After driving, Roxanne picked me up and we went to the outlet mall. Got my first pair of Vans. (Well I guess second since my prison issues were Vans but whatev.) Then bought accesories at Claire's. Then had Thai dinner and Bubble Tea at U-District. Lovesss it! Then last stop was Walgreens to buy cheap make-up. Heehee.

I'm also feeling the difference at work. I can feel my role slowly switching and I feel grown up the second time around... as cheesy as it may sound.

FINALS WEEK!! AHHHHHHH.

I am Beat

I don't know why but I just am.

Haven't been doing that much lately but I'm still very tired. Maybe I just think too much.... or maybe I DO have a lot to do but just thinking about them drains me out. (Well wadda ya know, maybe I do know why I'm beat--lol).

Just finished the last day of Driver's Ed. And now it's time for the scheduled drives. Woopie.

Some things I gotta do:

-Register for TOEFL test for the month of October.
-Return Adam's t-shirt to Zazzle and ask for a replacement.
-Do Geology test (I'll be doing this tomorrow so no worries, hehe)
-Do History response on DB.
-Write a review about Dante's Peak (due Monday!)
-Study for History final.
-Study and do notes for Geology final.
-Email my dad about something.

I'm sure there's heck of a lot more to do but I'm sooo tired, I don't even want to think about it. Tonight I think I'm just going to relax a little bit. So You Think You Can Dance is on :)

When randomness takes a toll on Ve.

Haven't blogged for nearly 5 days so chances are I'll be talking about really random things.

Test 3 on driver's ed. today. Frickin' 88%. Possibly could've been 90% coz I completely skipped one question. Oh well, passing's 80% so whatev.

Gonna do my first drive on Saturday. So nervous since I've never laid my hands on a steering before. God help me!

Kinda multi-tasking here. Watching Dante's Peak right now for extra credit due on Monday for Geology class. I've got loads of ish to do for the coming days. Grr.

Went to the dentist's yesterday. Hella money for a darn crown. SHEESH. That's what I get for being an international student. Yeah, I have insurance but it doesn't cover dental work. GEEZLUIS.

Interruption: omg. Huge lava flow. Is that even plausible?! Anyhoo. Lol.

Got invited TWICE for Wild Waves. This Friday by API people and Sunday by Cindy. Can't go to both. I gotta swim AT LEAST at a recreational center this summer. Was gonna this Saturday but I have my drive. But I'm going with Roxanne at the outlet after that so yay :)

Interruption: sad bit in Dante's Peak. Aww :'(

Whatelse whatelse whatelse. Life's been slow recently. No action. Hahaha. But it's already challenging as it is so let's leave at that at the moment.

Laura's in New York. If I only had the time and money, I'd fly there and see her in a heartbeat. We're like in the same country but yet we're still so far away from each other :(

*SIGH*

Lastly, I don't have time to pity people who self-pity. You're a great person, hope you find someone else... someone who's not me.

Shoot, this IS a random post ^__*

So Far So Good

Well it's kinda too early to say since my day hasn't ended yet but so far I'm having a good, productive day :) Didn't have class but I still went to school and actually started doing my Geology study guide in order to be prepared for next week's test. And last night, I spent time doing my History discussion board. I gotta bump up my grade for that class before it ends!

Around 10a.m. went to the office. Same thing happened:

(I'm signing up for walk-in)
S: Are you here as a student?
V: Yup.... is it okay?
S: Hahaha

I tell you, having dual roles is hard :P

Finalized my Fall quarter schedule with my advisor. I'm all set! I'm on the waiting list for one of the classes but it's okay since I'm on the 3rd spot, not bad at all. As oppose to the 20th spot for the other section. Thing is I start class at 8:30a.m.... and it's Statistics. Yikes. But I heard he's a really good instructor. Even advisors say so :) [it's my last Math class too!] Good thing is I get done at 10:20am coz one of my classes is online. How effin' cool is that?! I really have to do well.

I think I'm gonna go take a nap. Gotta catch the metro at 1:50p.m. to go to my driver's ed. But before that, I'll make a pit stop at Starbucks ^__^

Everything's going well so far today... people, please don't rain on my parade!

"The world is over-populated with the wrong kinds of people"- Ellen Degeneres

So true.

I swallowed my pride and there you are, you didn't even have the decency to actually reply back. Instead you post a lousy bulletin. Sure, you didn't mention my name but it doesn't take a brainiac to know that it was posted for me as your reply to my email. BULL!!!! To make matters worse, I was so nice to my email. I could've said so many negative things but I didn't because I'm too frickin' nice!!!! And another thing is that you twisted what I've said. More than half of your bulletin post didn't make sense whatsoever. I'm so pissed off right now!

"be brave, think more twice,and bethankful for wat you have"

Be brave?!!! What the fuck do you call my email then! It took a lot of guts for me to compose that and send it to your stupid inbox. I took time and effort to put that together and now I wish I did think more twice!! I shouldn't have wasted my time. Screw you. You could have said something nicer and for once, not drown your self in self-pity (to which you always do). I'm sick of you doing that. The world does not revolve around you. Face it, life has great challenges and yes, even heartbreaks are under that category and you're not the only one in this universe who experiences it.

And who the hell are you to tell me to be thankful of what I have?! I am happy with what have. Maybe what you were trying to say is that I should be thankful of you. Why should I be when your attitude is like that. Seriously. For the past 7-8 months or so, I feel drowned by you. Everything's always about you and what you feel. You don't realise that I have feelings too. But whenever I do open up, you just disregard it, like with my last email.

You're an inconsiderate prick.

Breathe in, breathe out...

"Why must we all conceal, what we think, how we feel."

I come in the office today:

S: Are you here to see an advisor?
Me: Yes, ma'am.
S: Ohhh, I like that, "ma'am". I feel old though, hahahaha.
Me: Okay... MISS.
S: Hahaha... miss!

(C comes): Oh, Venus is here.
Me: Yeah but...
S: She's here as a student (sarcastically)
(Everyone laughs)
Me: I need to see an advisor for just a second!
C: Oh, okay. We'll go pick up the pizza in 5minutes.

That was totally random, nothing at all to do with the title. Anyhoo.

I just realized that I have a really low self-confidence. I thought I had it all together but I guess I put on a mask for other people to see that I'm doing well when in reality, I'm not. Maybe I don't like people to see that I'm vulnerable. But when worse comes to worse, I just show my vulnerability but some people misinterpret it as my being humble. Which believe me, when I doubt myself, I really mean it.

I've gotten so used to thinking that I'm going to fail at a certain something that I get serious panic attacks. Well, it doesn't really show. Like I don't inhale in a brown paperbag or anything like that (I've seen some people do that). I just get all bajiggity inside. I'd be lying if I said I don't have an ounce of confidence. When I'm SO sure that I did well, then I'm relieved inside.

What I'm trying to say is that I've gotten really good at hiding what I feel. It's good in a way coz I might hurt someone's feelings when I say what I really feel. LOL. But sometimes, saying what's inside me comes in handy. Lately I've been doing just that, talking about what I really feel inside to some people I really trust. And it really helps me a great deal in terms of getting some things out of my system. But for the most part, I still have to be more daring to say what's within me.

I'm getting there.

Hello Monday

Going to school isn't that bad. The thing with me is that after a while of not having school or not having to think about anything, my brain turns into mush. I guess thinking a lot and going to school ain't that bad, for my part at least. It's times like this that I appreciate Mondays. I like having a daily routine. Right now I'm sounding like I don't have an ounce of spontaneity, I do like seeing/soing spontaneous things. But sometimes having a routine or schedule set out for you makes life quite easier. Here I go, scream my lungs out, tryna get to you.. Haha- sorry, listening to Yellowcard, just had to sing that bit out loud :p See, there goes my spontaneous side. Lol. Ang labo ko!

I can't believe summer quarter is ending soon. It barely started! It scary how time flies. It's like when you blink, a few days pass by. Whew.

My season 2 of Friends came in the mail today. Yay! Looks like someone's gonna sleep late tonight ^__^

One last thing, I'm one relieved person right now. Another challenge awaits me. J O Y!

Lazy Ve.

In a way I hate not having school. I just become soooo lazy. Since it's summer quarter, there's no school every Fridays. So my Friday and Saturday consisted of going online, doing some homework, watching TV/DVDs, sleeping (lots of it!!), eating and the cycle goes on. To make matters worse, it's been raining for some days now. Typical Seattle summer! Just adds a cherry on top to my laziness. Oh but wait, I also cleaned my room and got rid of things I don't really need so at least I actually did something. Lol. And another thing, I chipped my tooth eating crackers last night. Argh. Now I gotta either look for a cheap dentist or wait until I visit the Philippines coz my insurance doesn't cover dental work. JOY. Now I only chew with my right jaw. A n y w a y.

Oh, and today (or rather yesterday since it's after 12 a.m.) I got to chat a bit with Irish Fullerton from Pinoy Dream Academy (PDA). She seems very down to earth. I added her on YM and never knew she'd accept the invite. I left her an offline message and she answered back immediately! She put herself offline but she was really on but she still talked to me. I told her how she resembled Ashley from A'sNTM Cycle 5.

Irish: "ashley black??"
Me: "Yeah!! Sorry if you don't agree with the resemblance. You even have the same age as her. My mom even said "oo nga, noh?" (about the resemblance)."
Irish: "searching for pics"
Me: "I found one but it's not a very good one. She looks like you on TV."
Irish: "send me the link"
(I sent it)
Irish: "it won't let me see it"
Me: "Is it not going through?"
Irish: "nope"

...and then I don't remember the rest. Oh and she also told me she has family in Bothell :) People say she's a bitch but she's really sweet. Haters!

Watching Friends right now. Can't sleep. (Figure, I slept all day!) Kinda want to go to the mall later. Dalton is closing down and books are 50% off. Bought a book last Thursday, "Queen of Everything" for $3.80. It's an okay book.

I want Monday to come already so that my laziness could go away. It's making my head hurt. Tugshhhh.

.:20 things:.

Got this idea from a friend's blog entry on Multiply.

List down twenty things you want to say to people but know you never will. Don't say who they are.

1. Don’t be such a know-it-all, it really bothers me.

2. I wish you were more considerate.

3. Please let me do what I want without having to criticize the outcome, before it actually happens. (I might actually say this but in a different manner, ha-ha)

4. Thank you for always being there (although I've told you this a million times already) You're just the best. Whenever you cheer me on, I can't be more happy. People say each individual have a guardian angel, I think you are mine.

5. I wish you weren’t dating her. I really liked you. (Note: past tense!!)

6. Sometimes I wish you appreciated me more. I try my hardest to be the best friend I can be but sometimes I feel like it doesn’t mean anything to you.

7. You tend to talk about yourself too much sometimes and it kind of irritates me.

8. You’ve changed a lot and I’m happy about your positive attitude. But I think you try too hard at times.

9. Stop being such suck-up just so everyone will like you, you’re great as you are already. I just really hate it when you put up a front to other people that you don’t do normally. Be yourself.

10. You’re a beautiful person, but I wish you dressed up more appropriately.

11. I don’t like it when you think you made everything possible. It’s like people around you are not capable of doing anything. Not everything you touch turns to gold.

12. Stop thinking you're cute and attractive, you're really not.

13. You're such a spolied brat. Stop being so materialitstic. There's more to life than pricey things.

14. Don't be so hot-headed, your mood swings make me think you have a B.D *_*

15. You're an amazing person even with your flaws.

16. I'm not a kid anymore. You have to cut me some slack just a bit more.

17. You're such a loud mouth but I love you just the way you are :)

18. You're evil. Period. I have no respect left for you.

19. I admire your bitchiness :)

20. It's not always about you.

Road Rage without the Road.

At driver's ed. today, we talked about road rage. That's what I'm feeling right now except I'm not driving (which is good!).

Some people just have an unfortunate lack of understanding. For once, I pity you. I don't hate you. In fact, I'm so thankful you're there to make me realize how desperate people can get. You're a brilliant example. I usually think about what I'm going to say to someone before I say it but this time, I'm out of control. I just want to spill everything coz I've had enough. But I won't spill. I'm way too kind.

I know I might take back everything I've said but I don't see it happening any time soon... coz right now I have a "hard heart".

I really have to focus on everything positive. I'm going nuts. I'm so glad I still have some people around me to keep me sane. I have to find my Zen place and loving state of being. Lol.

History Discussion Board is my calling right now.

Woooosh! (Seriously, what is up with me?!)

Another one bites the dust.

Mannnn, when there's a lot of things going on, time sure flies like whoooosh! (Okay, Ve, wtf was that??) Anyhoo.

The past week was just a lot of information to take in. My brain is still in the process of absorbing everything. Whenever there's a good news, a bad news comes up and then a bad one and then a good one... well, you catch my drift. But for the most part I have a lot of learning to do and I'm loving it.

Although there is one bad news that stood out. A certain someone is really getting on my last nerve. I'm known to have a long fuse, it takes hell of a lot to piss me off. But this certain someone have pushed me to life's little edge and I'm not liking one bit of it. Ever felt like cutting someone off your life? That's what I'm feeling right now.

I might seem really bitchy at this point but enough. What on earth do you want me to do?! I can't read your mind. And who the heck are you to tell me I don't care? Excuse you. If I didn't, I wouldn't make the effort to squeeze you in my busy schedule. Did you know that those short phone calls I make just to get to talk to you could've been a few minutes for me to talk to my other friends whom I haven't spoken with for quite a while? But I guess that's not what you call an effort. And those times you do something I don't appreciate (I won't mention it for the sake of keeping your anonimity), I worry like hell if you're okay but I guess that's not enough either. I can't believe I tolerate you when you burry yourself in self-pity.

I'm not really in the mood to argue, I'd rather spend my energy on something else, something more important. I'm tired already, life's already hard as it is. Life's way too precious to be wasting it on someone like you.

I'll some day find that someone. It night not be soon but I will.

For now, I'll dwell on the good things this life has to offer.

Hotness

I shouldn't really be blogging coz I still have Accounting homework to do. But at least I'm half done with it. And I just got done with my History discussion board so it's all good :) I just got my Friends Season 1 DVD box set on the mail so as soon as I finish everything, I'll watch them! So excited. I'm gonna start collecting all seasons. They're pretty cheap on Amazon.com.

I guess I should call this blogging my "break time". Heehee.

It's soooo hot today! When you go outside, you can feel your skin burning and you just want to drop dead on the ground. Okay, so I might be exaggerating but it's really super uber hot!

The bus ride from campus to 911 was no fun as well the ride to go home. Phew. I could feel my face like it was on fire. Anyhoo, 911 was fun. Our instructor is so funny. I hope she stays for the rest of the course. She was trying to remember everyone's name, she's hilarious. And she's so energetic and jumpy. And a loud voice for a petite lady. Haha. Well what can I say, she's a cop :) I feel like with all the stuff I'm learning, I'm becoming like a junior cop or something. Lol. but I really can't wait to drive :)

Well I guess that's my break. Lol.

Gonna go take a cold shower, continue Accounting and then watch Friends! Woot.

Oh and one more thing. It was totally worth the wait.

"Everything happens for a reason". I, too, believe this as well. Thank YOU.

I'm a strong person. I have a lot to give. And yeah, it's about me now...

Anxiety: the good kind.

Don't you just hate when you're left hanging on a cliff? It's the worse feeling. You can't wait what's in store for you next, whether good or bad. (But I think for the most part, it's good... unless it gets jinxed). I've been feeling anxious since Saturday. I don't want to talk about it in case I jinx it. Coz it always happens, whenever I want something to happen SO bad, it gets jinxed when I elaborate on it. Well I've already talked about it with my mom but she blabbed it on but I guess she's just proud.

Anyhoo, we'll just wait and see. Maybe it's worth the wait :)

I've been really cranky today. I suddenly snap at poeple and whenever I'm asked a question, I asnwer sarcastically. Stupid monthly hormones LOL. Why am I even talking about that here?!

^__^

I miss my friends from Cyprus so much. I can't believe I forgot that I've been gone from the island for 2 years already last July 3. With all the bruhaha, it just passed me by. They all had a prom at the Four Seasons a couple of days ago and they all look beautiful in the pictures. They've changed heck of a lot. Oh and they graduated as well... I was supposed to be there rocking a graduation gown too. Oh well.

I can't believe how everyone looks so different now. And I look at myself and I look... the same as I did when I left Cyprus. I don't know if I should be frustrated or what I should really feel for that matter. I need a makeover!! Haha. Like something drastic. For one I've altered my way of clothing, I wear "girlier" clothes (i think) now but just doesn't make the cut for "drastic change".

I'm not really making much sense of what I'm typing so we'll just leave it at that. Hahaha.

But yeah, back to my main subject, my friends in Cyprus. We might not be in touch as much as the first year I left or as much as I'd like us to be but I'm just glad we do. They're the best. Sometimes I get mad that they don't reply back to my messages but I completely understand them. In the back of my mind, I know they miss me too. Harhar.

I wish them all the best in university :) I love you guys!

The random entry.

So 4th was cool yesterday. Woke up, worked out and got ready before Roxanne came to pick me up. Had lunch at her cousin's house with her boyfriend, Aeegee. Her family are funny people! Then after about a couple of hours, we left and ate once again at our house. Then she left at around 6:30ish. Then my uncle, mom and I went to Edmonds to watch the fireworks at 10.

Some pictures:

Today was slow. Got to my usual 9am class, Financial Accounting 1. Kinda getting the concept of chapter 2 but whatever. Test again on Monday, gotta ace it since I didn't do so well on the first one. After class, went to the computer lab and did some accounting homework. Didn't get much done.

Took the bus home, napped and did some of my homework. Suprisingly, got more than half done of the History discussion board done.

Around 5ish, Roxanne came to pick me up and we ate at Panero's then strolled around the mall for a bit. Bought nothing. Made a couple of stops elsewhere then Starbucks then home.

Just got done with my homework. Both are due at midnight. Finished History at around 9pm and I just finished Accounting a few minutes ago. Racked my brain doing the trial balance. It didn't freakin' balance! Then I just left the extra credit alone for chapter 1. My brain is too tired to think.

Which brings me to my next point (was I even trying to make one? anyhow). I'm a "giver". I give up easily and I hate myself for it. But I did try my best. I tried harder than I usually do... lol. But nothing, my brain cells just gave up. Oh well. (I could hear my dad telling me "kaya mo yan, hindi ka lang na ko-concentrate"). It's like my brain chooses what to learn, if that makes any sense. And lately my attention span has been very short and that's not good. It's like "ohhhh. okay. now i'm bored". My brain just wanders off. Like today, the professor was explaining chapter 2 and for a minute, I got what she was saying but then after, she totally lost me. I just nod my head pretending I get everything. Lol. I guess it was her fault for losing me coz she writes with a black marker on the white board, right? Well she erases the board with this dirty cloth which makes her hands dirty too. Then at one point, she touched her upper lip and left a funny looking, black mark that made her look like Hitler. HAHAHA. Sorry, it was just really funny. I wanted to burst out. Then she touched the side of her nose which made it worse for me. But thankfully I pulled my inner self together. Whew. But seriously, I really have to concentrate more!

Anyhoo, no school tomorrow. Woopie.

I'm out.

Venus 101

Laugh is what I do best. I believe laughter is a universal therapy.

So I've been blabbing for 2 days now about my struggles with blogger so let me introduce myself...

My name is Venus and I'm originally from the Philippines. Both my parents are Filipinos but I was born in Cyprus (Google it if you don't know where it is.) After a couple of years in Cyprus, my family and I moved to New York and lived there for a year. After New York, I started kindergarden in the Philippines until the 3rd grade. Moved once again to Cyprus until the summer I turned 17. And now at 19, pursuing a college degree here in the Emerald City, Seattle.

The Space Needle. I'll visit you some day. Seattle is love.

I like it here. I can't believe September marks my 2 years. Time sure flies. I've learned so much since I got here. I became independent, bold and grew as a young, mature individual. I guess living away from my parents made me learn to look after myself. Sure, my aunt and uncle are there but it's just different. I learned how to do the smallest things such as laundry to the bigger, important things such as controlling my budget.

Another factor that shaped me to who am I today was when I got my first ever job which is an International Peer Mentor. I was lucky enough to be chosen as one of the 5 student leaders representing the international population for the S.Y. 2006-2007. What we basically do is help new and current int'l students adjust to the life here in Seattle and integrate them into the campus. My co-workers are from Hong Kong, Indonesia, Korea and Vietnam while my boss is from Japan. (Are we culturally diversed or what?!) I've been working as an IPM for nearly a year now and it's sad to let go of it in a couple of months (the program changes IPMs every year to give other students opportunity to work for this amazing job). I learned SO much (what I've learned is another blog entry..lol)

Hung (Vietnam), Billy (Indonesia), Mari (Japan), Venus (Philippines slash Cyprus), Mickee (Korea) and Polly (Hong Kong)
The coolest people you're ever going to meet :)

On my spare time I love to shop. I was such a big shopper before but when I started getting my paycheck, I just wanted to save coz hello, I worked dang hard for it. Lol. My dorky side is I like scrap booking. (It could be my sentimental side, too). I love sports but I've been really lazy lately, thus I'm out of shape. I was a varsity in volleyball in high school and that went down the drain when I moved here. Right now, I try to keep in shape by jogging on the treadmill. Joy.

Travelling is a passion of mine. I've been to Israel, Greece, Lebanon, Canada and a bunch of layovers in Japan, Kuwait, UAE, Korea and Taipei. If given the opportunity, I'd love for a tropical island to be my next destination.

But nothing beats the Philippines. Yeah, it's mainit, crowded, traffic and whatnot. But don't you just thank not having to call a cab when you need one? There are like a gazillion of them. Malls are great too. Naiinis ako pag nagmamalaki mga puti tapos tinatanong kung may malls sa Pilipinas. Sa isip-isip ko, "mga malls nyo, parking space lang ng mga malls sa Pilipinas!". I love visiting the Philippines. I'm not really into the whole patriotic "Pilipino ako" type of thing but I'm proud to be one. At my college, I feel like I'm representing us under the international programs. Hay nako, mabuhay. LOL.

I'm also a random person. We might be talking about a specific something when a few minutes later, my conversation with you could completely go off tangent. Sorry in advance!

I love making new friends. I may not easily get close to a person but when I do, I get attached. But I choose my friends wisely. You'll know if your friends are real when they stay up with you till 3am on the phone, listening to your crying. I love my friends.

Costi, Raff, Tish and Laura. I miss them. Years of friendship will never be forgotten.

My family is my everything. We've had our ups and downs but no matter what, they're my family and we stay strong together. My weakness is my nephew and he's one spoiled, lil' kid.


He's my precious, Adam Lee. Love it when he calls me "titatatata"


I'm running out of things to say so I'll just blab some other time.

That's about me for now. Watch this space.

2nd attempt

It's Lindsay Lohan's birthday today. Sure, she's been in and out of the rehab but heck, that girl can act! I've been a fan since The Parent Trap and have watched nearly all of her movies. She doesn't deserve all the crap people give her. Yeah, she parties a lot... so does the majority of people her age! Anyhoo.

So yesterday I spent half of my afternoon trying to figure out how to change my layout (not the ones that blogger owns but the fancy ones.) Failed at it. But i'll keep trying, lol. I could've spent that time studying for Accounting. Test was okay today... hopefully.

I also watched the concert for Princess Diana yesterday. Just watched the encore though and they only showed an hour of it. Not a big Diddy fan but his performance was great.

Today after accounting, worked at the office for an hour then killed time at Northgate. Then went back to campus and then first staff meeting for the quarter. It was weird to see the team smaller. I miss Mickee and Polly.

Anyhoo, I'll go figure this blogger thing again... kinda getting the hang of it.

Welcome to Venus' World

So this is my 3rd attempt on creating a blogspot. I've been a big fan of blog-hopping and writing blogs and I've seen some great blogs here on blogspot so here I am for the 3rd time around.

Right now my blogs are all over the place but once I get this blog started, I'll probably writing here more often.

I'm not quite familiar with how this blog works but I'll eventually figure it out. Lol.