Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A bunch of things about the 4-letter word.


Image courtesy by GettyImages

I think I will lock my heart for a while. For the longest time, it had a mind of its own. But recently, it’s starting to coordinate with my head and I’m learning more and more of how to control it thus getting more sense of how I truly feel.

I have not given up on love and I never will. But sometimes love just complicate things when it shouldn’t. Being loved and loving someone entails the most amazing feeling ever and not of confusion and/or uncertainties.

Before meeting “a now friend”, I told myself that I want to be able to learn from him. And I did. I learned that we can’t force love. It is something that we slowly learn to do and certainly something we cannot force on someone regardless of how much we care about them. I also learned that there’s a big difference between “Love” and “In Love”.

Now, the next time I meet someone, I still would like to be able to learn from him and make sure that if love is involved; the feeling is mutual and not a one-way street.

For once I’m admitting this, without sounding like a conceited bitch; I would like to be treated like a princess. I want somebody who would think the world of me and someone who would feel like the luckiest person on earth because they’re with me. I want to be able to wake up every single morning feeling good about myself and looking forward to what the world has to offer.

I know that someday love will find me. But for now, I’m locking my heart and make someone find the key instead of just giving it.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Cliff: a familiar place.


Image courtesy of GettyImages

The edge of a cliff is a familiar place to me. I’ve been pushed off of it one too many times. But no matter how many times I get pushed, I still hang on for dear life. I continue to tighten my grip until I bleed and bruise. I hang on because I hope that some day; somehow, someone will take my hand and pull me back up to the surface.

I recently just found myself hanging on my familiar place again. But I want to do something different this time.

I’m letting go and just fall.

Perhaps somebody is just waiting to catch me in mid-air. It is a gamble but I've risked my heart before... why not risk it again? A good thing might come out of it this time... hopefully.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Lost in Translation.


Picture courtesy of GettyImages


"Se thelw san louloudi pou dipsai gia mia stalia vroxh"

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Lullaby :)

Can't really write much coz I'm just uber tired. My arms and legs are sore... but it's so worth it :) First day with the kids today. Toddlers... they're a handful but they're the sweetest things ever! Never knew I had this side of me. Hopefully one day I'll be a good mom. Hehe. It was funny being asked "do you have kids of your own?" twice. I guess teenage pregnancy is just one of those not-so-taboo things anymore. But yeah. I super love the kids, they're adorable despite the drools, boogers, snotty noses and poopies. Haha. Just seeing them smile, hear their laughters and feel their hugs make my day already :)

Another challenge tomorrow. Can't wait.

Monday, April 7, 2008

:)

Today was a good day. Despite of my litte emo morning, everythng was bliss.

Got a call around 11am... I got the daycare job! :) Say hello to teacher Venus, hahaha. Will start training tomorrow from 9am-5:30pm :) Gotta get used to the waking-up-early routine again. Oh well, it's worth it.

My laptop crashed again. All files erased. Oh well, didn't lose anything that important. Gotta look at the brighter side of things, internet is super fast right now and it doesn't take forever when I restart :)

Sometimes in life we just gotta look at the positive side of things no matter how sucky it gets.

Friday, April 4, 2008

100 Random Facts

Got this idea from my friend's blog some time ago. I decided to make a list of my own since I haven't been doing much lately. (Took me two days!)

1. When I wash dishes, I leave the utensils behind because I can’t stand the sound of spoons and forks clanging.

2. I’ve never owned a pair of high heels.

3. I don’t read a lot of books.

4. I've been lucky to cruise around Lebanon, Israel and Greece.

5. I took English Literature, European History, Human Biology and Accounting during my freshman and sophomore years in high school.

6. I have a short attention span.

7. Since my maternal grandmother died on December 2000, I started praying before I go to bed which became my ritual.

8. I knock on wood 3 times before I go to bed or else I won’t be able to sleep.

9. Closets should be closed too or else I just toss and turn when I see it open at night.

10. The sound of the clock ticking helps me sleep.

11. So does scratching my back or playing with my hair.

12. My eyes’ prescription is not the same. The left eye is -4.00 while the right one is -3.75.

13. I’m nearsighted.

14. I have a habit of staring without realizing it.

15. I don’t get the need to have big boobs.

16. My head is hurting right now trying to think of other random facts about myself.

17. I love to write poems but I have to be super inspired.

18. All my poems rhyme.

19. I’m sexually retarded.

20. But I’m not a prude.

21. I was born in Cyprus but have a Filipino passport.

22. I had an older brother who passed away at birth.

23. I have a mild case of stutter.

24. I think I might have a little bit of dyslexia too.

25. I have an older brother and the gap between us is 11 years.

26. I speak 3 languages (big whoop).

27. I have a chickenpox scar on the corner of my left eye.

28. I have pierced my ears at least 10 times in my life.

29. I’m a 34A/B.

30. I’m a hopeless romantic

31. I enjoy long walks at the beach.

32. I don’t think kissing in the rain is that special.

33. Not that I’ve tried it.

34. I smoke when I’m stressed or upset. It really calms me down.

35. I explain myself better through writing.

36. I look up almost every “How To’s” on the internet.

37. I think I sound good singing in the shower.

38. I love quoting movies and songs.

39. I would never date a guy shorter than me.

40. I rarely have my phone on ring (loud).

41. I don’t pick up unknown numbers/ numbers that aren’t registered on my phone. I let them roll on voicemail.

42. I pretend and mask things more than I should and I know it’s not healthy.

43. My hands get uber cold when I’m nervous.

44. I have OCD when it comes to washing hands.

45. Dirty fingernails, body odor and bad breath are some of my pet peeves.

46. I’ve been heartbroken 3 times.

47. And I know that it could happen again.

48. I hate the color orange.

49. I’m not very interested in Oscar nominated films.

50. I think that Abigail Breslin can’t be like Dakota Fanning no matter how hard she tries.

51. Lindsay Lohan is my favorite IT girl.

52. I had my first “grown up” kiss at 16 with a high school friend. He’s now gay.

53. I don’t like sharing soap bars.

54. I think semi-bald guys are hot.

55. I learned how to do my own laundry at 17.

56. My dream job is to be a flight stewardess.

57. I’m still a, you-know-what.

58. I prefer showering at night.

59. I don’t like jelly with my peanut butter sandwich.

60. I’m not easily influenced.

61. The worst after-taste is gum and cigarette together.

62. The best feeling is to love and to be loved in return. (Yes, it’s a “Moulin Rouge” quote.)

63. I have 4 stitches on my chin due to an accident when I was little.

64. I hate tofu.

65. I was once a volleyball player.

66. I know that I don’t work hard enough.

67. I’ve been to a lesbian wedding in Canada.

68. I lived in New York for a year when I was little.

69. I’ve been on top of the Twin Towers.

70. My favorite scent is Dream by Gap.

71. My parents have been married for 31 years.

72. I don’t believe in love at first sight.

73. I never got into the habit of biting my nails.

74. I like to “Google” people.

75. Yes, I’ve “Googled” myself too.

76. Sometimes I wish I was rich kid brat and have everything handed to me on a silver platter.

77. But for the most part, I’m happy with what I have.

78. I’m a cheapskate, clearance sections are my calling.

79. I have trust issues.

80. I’m an emo deep inside.

81. I think Ellen Degeneres is the funniest comedian.

82. “Friends” was the best show on television.

83. I’m not a big fan of old, black and white, “classic” movies. They bore me out.

84. Except “The Sound of Music” which I’ve seen more than 20 times.

85. I always have to read something when I’m doing “number 2”. Even if it’s just the back of whatever bottles I find in the toilet.

86. I can’t carry a conversation regarding politics.

87. Gossip magazines are addicting.

88. I get a migraine at least 2 times a month. And they don't go away quickly.

89. I’ve never been to a prom or homecoming or whatever sort of dance in high school.

90. I was christened Maria Cyphi (Cyprus-Philippines) Venus but only have Venus on my legal documents.

91. My dad said they named me Venus because he saw the Venus star while standing outside the maternity clinic balcony (and that Aphrodite a.k.a Venus originated from Cyprus.)

92. I bit a boy’s ear when I was little. He cried and told his dad.

93. I have two godchildren: my nephew Adam and my extended cousin’s daughter, Jasmine.

94. I talk to myself sometimes.

95. I’m scared to take my driver’s license test and that is why I’ve been stalling for nearly a year.

96. I haven’t spent Christmas in my home country for nearly 10 years.

97. I love airplane food.

98. I’m lactose intolerant and hate the taste of soy milk on its own.

99. I’m allergic to beer, peaches and some seafood.

100. I can’t believe I thought of all these things!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Best Friends since 1999.



Laetitia: Seriously I can’t wait to see you again. It hurts that you can’t go Cyprus for a holiday with your parents.

Venus: I know, but it's okay... mark my words… we WILL see each other some day. It's probably going to be a big celebration or something, like someone's wedding... haha. I still want you as one of my bridesmaids, btw!

Laetitia: Awwwwwwwwwwww!! You too! If I get married, lol.

Venus: HAHAHA. Of course you will, you just have to find the right guy… we both do!

Laetitia: And we will… one day.

Venus:
Someone who'd treat us like a princess. Hahaha, LAME.

Laetitia: Hahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaha. It’s true though, lol. They have to treat us well.

A conversation I had with a best friend of 9 years. Today we just reminisced about the good old days we had when we were younger. And all of a sudden, we talked about family, marriage, finding the right guy, etc. It was nice to see how far we’ve come and that we really are growing up. And that despite of the miles that separate us, we're still very good friends, like sisters almost.

I remember when we were in school, we’d have free periods because we didn’t have to take advance Greek lessons. So while everyone was in class, we’d just sit at the cafeteria, or the benches or the concrete seats at the open gym and just talked about life (aka gossip about people, haha!). Then when we got home, we’d still call each other on the phone and talk for hours even though we’ve just been together at school half of the day. She was someone I depended on a lot. We also had each other’s back. Yes, we fought here and there but resolved things as quickly as we could. People found it weird when we weren’t together and immediately knew if we had a fight. That's how close we were!

I miss the sleepovers and the non-stop laughter. I miss making fun of each other (she's the reason behind why some of our friends started calling me "Veni".) I miss her a lot and really hope to see her some day.

Love you, Laetitia! (aka Tish, Leila, Latoush, Latisha, and whatever other names people call you... haha!!)

P.S. Thank you for not turning into a French bitch :) Je t'aime, kori palavi! Hahaha.

Look out my window, my sunshine's all around.

What's a fact about the last person who called you?
She's the big sister I never had and love her to bits.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Not really.

What happened at 10:00 am today?
I got my butt out of bed.

When did you last cry?
A couple days ago while watching "If Only".

What is your favorite thing to eat?
Right now I'm obsessed with Nutella!

What do you want in your life right now?
Get a job and leave Seattle for a bit.

Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
I used to carry an umbrella but it broke so now I just rely on my hood.

Do you wear Crocs?
No, they're cute though.

What do you smell like?
Right now? Coffee.

What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
The red or purple one.

What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
Pillows and my comfy quilt.

What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
The last one from my aunt in the Philippines.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I don't think so.

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
No.

What was the last movie you went to see?
In the movies, Sweeney Todd (I know, it's been a while!) and on DVD, Wimbledon.

Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod?
Yep.

Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
10 mins by car?

Can you sleep in jeans?
Yes. Hahaha. Especially when they're new, I gotta break them in so I sleep in them :p

Are you a cuddler?
Yes but not just with anyone. Haha, duh.

Something you just don't understand?
A lot of things.

Where were you on July 4th, 2007?
Ate at a friend's house then ate some more here at home. And then went to see the fireworks at Edmonds.

What does the last text message you received say?
"Goodluck, take care always and love you."

What did you reply?
"You take care of yourself too, love you!"

Who was the last person you were in a car with that is under 20?
Elsha and Erika.

What is the last thing you bought for someone?
Coffee.

Do you trust people easily?
Nope.

Do you say "dawg"?
I could never pull it off.

What are you proud of?
Not giving up on school.

Have you ever dated someone named Derrick?
No.

Who was last to cook for you?
My uncle.

When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
Uh, no.

Do you care what others think about you?
Yes.

Do you think you will be married in 10 years?
Hopefully.

Will you ever hug the last person you hugged again?
Yes.

What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
Getting a job.

Who was the last person you called?
Roxanne.

Who was your last missed call?
Roxanne.

Do you plan on moving in the next year?
In where? Haha.

What were you doing at 9pm last Friday night?
I think I just got home.

Who was the last person to play with your hair?
My aunt.

I'll bet you miss someone right now?
Always.

Do you think long distance relationships are ever really worth it?
If you really love the person, you'll make it worth it.

When is the last time you made someone else cry?
Can't recall.

What are you doing tomorrow?
No idea.

What are you doing tonight?
Probably go out for dinner and have my usual Thursday girltalks with Roxanne.

What is bothering you right now?
Waiting for a call! Call me already. Haha.

Was New Years enjoyable?
It was okay.

Plans for this weekend?
I don't know yet. I kinda want to jog and breath fresh air at Greenlake.

"You will learn how to lose everything... we are temporary arrangements"

"You will learn how to lose everything... we are temporary arrangements"