2009 Resolutions.

Have a lollipop, have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

1. Read more books:
Back in high school I would finish a book in two days. This year, I’ve never finished a single book. My goal for 2009 is to read at least 10 books (excluding books I have to read for university). Currently reading: Bloodletting, a memoir by Victoria Leatham and Alanis Morissette’s unofficial biography by Paul Cantin. Next in line: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Bring it on!

2. Not cut my hair:
Whenever I get bored of my hair, I always have this urge to chop it off (to get rid of the bad aura?—haha, I don’t know). For the past 2-3 years, I never let my hair grow and would cut a chunk every 3 months. For 2009, I will just have my every-three-months, 2-inch trim and let it grow.

3. Cut the C-word out of my life!:
I just have to think of the cons: they make my clothes and fingers stink, nausea attacks me at random moments, they’re expensive and I have a lung capacity of a three year old.

4. Be more physically active and eat like a girl (haha):
Challenge: to lose 20 lbs. (healthily) in a course of a year.

5. Learn to play the guitar:
My aunt saw me looking at guitars online (I was planning to buy one) but then she mentioned that my dad had bought her one from Japan more than 20 years ago. She took it out from the storage and it is still in perfect condition. I played with it some weekends ago and kinda abandoned it. This coming year, I want to learn how to play it well.

6. Get good grades:
This is private, uber-expensive university we’re talking about. No more screwing up!

7. Nurture myself emotionally:
I am known to not say what I’m really feeling. Instead I bottle everything inside and repress my emotions until that nasty feeling at the pit of my stomach comes about. From 2009 onwards, I hope to be more open with my feelings (but at the same time being careful who to be open to).

8. Have more fun! (Whatever your interpretation of “fun” is):
I started to truly have fun (-seizing the day in my own little fucked-up ways-) this year. All the “I-can’t-believe-you-did-that” this year was compensation for my overly being responsible when I was younger. Bring on the fun, 2009!

What is/are your New Year's Resolution(s)?

Favorite Moments of 2008.

I know the year hasn't officially ended yet but I thought I'd reflect on my favorite moments of this year :) Here goes.

Getting a job as a preschool teacher:
Taking a break from college, I wanted to try something different, something I’d learn to eventually love doing. Working with kids gave me a new perspective of life and learned how to see the world through a child’s eyes (as stressful and insane as it got sometimes). Through the form of co-workers, I also made some awesome friends. (I’ll miss y’all bitches!)

Reunion with my former co-workers:
Around April, I think it was, Polly flew in from Indiana. After nearly a year of ending our work as peer mentors, Polly, Billy, Hung and I reunited. We all had dinner at Red Robbins and had bubble tea and played Jenga at Pochi’s. I think that was the night I laughed the hardest this year. Only bummer was that Mickee couldn’t make it.

Having a relationship:
Sure, we’re not together anymore but it was nice and refreshing while it lasted. I learned how to love, how to hate, how to heal and how to let go. I even went through painful realizations like unknowingly that I’ve hit rock bottom and losing myself along the way. But at the end of the day, all those had to occur in order to reach some level of inner betterment and peace.

Earning my Associates degree:
After 2 and half years of core requirements, deciding what to major in and without my parents’ supervision, I graduated from Shoreline and will transfer to a four-year university.

Getting accepted by Seattle University:
After getting rejected by my first choice of university, Seattle U saved my ass. I can’t wait to begin my fresh start at a new environment and meet interesting people.

Going to Los Angeles for my 20th birthday:
This trip was planned for the longest time. When it finally happened, I fell in love with L.A. I got to stay at a hotel in Hollywood, tour around Beverly Hills and finally fulfilled my childhood dream of visiting Disneyland. It was also great to bond with my best friend and get away from Seattle for a while during a difficult time.

Seeing Alanis Morissette in concert:
I’ve always loved her work but seeing her perform live made me love her music even more. If I were in need of a therapist, I’d want it to be Alanis. Her lyrics are just dead-on and out of this world (I pretty much live by her words everyday now). I’d see her again live in a heartbeat.

December Snow:
Sure it got annoying not being able to go out of the house because you’re snowed in or your car gets stuck. But for the first few days, I thought the snow was really pretty. As strange as it may sound, I felt like a child in a snow globe :)

What were your favorite moments? (",)

'Forgiven'

Two days ago I had a conversation with a co-worker about going to church. I told her that I've never been to church even once this year... that I kinda stopped being that Catholic girl that I was a few years back. The one who was baptized, the one who confessed and received communion and the one who went to Sunday school and went through the whole confirmation process. She asked why and I replied with an "I don't know". But after early dismissal from work, I went home and actually gave some thoughts about it.

I remember growing up, my parents, my mom in particular always wanted me to accompany her to church every Sunday. I had no problem with it. For one I went to a Catholic school in elementary back in the Philippines so I was used to the whole being surrounded by religion thing. Then in Cyprus every Saturday morning, I had to attend some sort of Sunday school (only it was on a Saturday-ha!) for a few months so that I'd be ready to be confirmed. Mom also never let Christmas Eve and Easter masses pass by. Eventhough my mom "forced" (for lack of a better word) me to go to church, she didn't really adapt it in our household. We never prayed before meals or have rosary rituals every night. Going to church was the furthest my mom went as far as our being Catholic.

But for the past 2 years, I felt disconnected with my religion, the beliefs I grew up with.
Do I know the Ten Commandments by heart? No.
Can I name all the Apostles and Prophets? Nuh uh.
Am I familiar with The Holy Bible? Not at all.

You might come to an assumption by now that I've probaby abandoned my beliefs entirely, right? Not necessarily. I just came to a realization that I followed my beliefs as I was growing up because I was told to and mind you, I WANTED to. But it was more of wanting to belong somewhere, being a follower of something.

As abandoning my beliefs crossed my mind, I couldn't. It's been a part of me since birth. I believe that there's a higher form of power up there... like how you or me or a creature or a beautiful tree was made.

I felt disillusioned thinking about all this. But then I heard this song from my Alanis Morissette playlist to which I never really paid much attention to. And it kinda put my mind at ease:

http://www.imeem.com/alanismorissette/music/0ZaPw5bM/alanis_morissette_forgiven/

'Forgiven'

You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday

We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question

We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did

What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did

We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did

Narcissus Girl (nah).

This is going to be quite a narcissist entry; not that I’ve never written vain entries before… but that’s beside the point.

We women have good and bad days. We sometimes wake up in the morning feeling beautiful, confident and ready to step outside, not letting anyone rain on our parade. But there are days when we feel butt ugly, pessimistic and in a way, ashamed of ourselves.

I reflected upon this recently (I’ve been stuck inside the house for 3 days due to snow, who can blame me?). I’ve only had two serious romantic relationships in my 20 years of existence. And being in those relationships, I’ve always felt ugly BUT confident. And here’s why. Because I’m in a relationship, I don’t feel the need to “beautify” myself. I trust that my other half would love me for who I am regardless of what type of jeans I’m wearing. But once I am out of that relationship; I am back to my “I’m-not-going-out-in-sweatpants” phase. It’s that constant need of trying to look pretty. Why, you ask? Here’s what I came up with:

-You don’t want to go out and have your ex see you for the first time looking like shit.

-You want to attract other guys.

-It’s your way of finding confidence within yourself (especially if you’re the rejected). If you look good, you feel good.

It’s been four months and some odd days now and putting that effort of trying to look good has gone unnoticed. I feel like I don’t even try to look good and yet people compliment on how I’m “glowing”.

And one question remains:
Am I truly over it?

Not that I’m complaining. Just laying it out there; this is a good sign as the year 2008 reaches its climax :] Woohoo.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Tsk tsk, Miss Venus

Today, a kid at work started crying because another kid said something untrue about him. As usual, I asked him to calm down first and talk about it.

And then I told him “you don’t need to cry… crying doesn’t make anything better, does it?”

Thinking I was mad at him, he said “no Miss Venus”.

I was shocked at myself. I was telling this child not to cry when crying is a natural form of release, something that I, myself, do to get rid of some emotional baggage.

Sorry sweetheart. You cry your heart out whenever. Miss Venus is silly.

One of those weeks.

It’s been a while since I blogged about “a day (or week) in a life of Venus”. This week was exhausting to say the least. I also felt very overwhelmed and a bunch of other things mixed in it.

Work’s just crazy as always. I’ve been working there for 7 months and some odd days. But the craziness is what’s keeping me sane. I love the kids and how they can put a temporary yet fulfilling smile on my face. I love my co-workers’ company despite of some random dramas that happen. They’ve become my new friends whom I can laugh with. I will surely miss my life as ‘Teacher Miss Venus”.

Today I had to register for my classes and I’ll be honest, as much as I’m excited about meeting new people and taking classes that I’ll actually love, I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for it… the academic part at least. But as my advisor said earlier about my 7:45am class “let’s just suck it up”.

This week I was also reminded of him by three different people, 3 days in a row. It has become one of those things that I like to talk about to get that sense of release. But lately each time people ask me something that has something to do with him, I just suddenly choke up and reply with a shrug. Things just start to swirl around and the more I try to dissect how I’m feeling, the more I feel lost. I guess I just like to talk about it to a certain extent for my own good (or else I’ll explode).

Right now I’m at a good spot. I’m not up high on a pedestal nor hitting rock bottom. I hope to keep it that way.

Have a good weekend (well, almost!) :)

Alanis Morissette

I finally got to see Alanis Morissette perform live.

I don’t consider myself as a music oriented person. For one, I can’t carry a tune to save my life and also, I never really carried on with playing musical instruments. However what I look for the in a song are the lyrics, the meaning, interpretation and what have you.

Over the years, Alanis Morissette provided the above said things and that is why I’ve been such a huge fan for a long time.

I remember her debut album Jagged Little Pill came out in 1995… I was seven years old. Obviously I was too young to understand the lyrics. But one song that always makes me reminisce is ‘Ironic’. Personally, it didn’t mean anything to me when I was younger; I just liked listening to it.



A few years later, my brother met a girl (whom he is happily married to now) who was a hardcore Alanis fan. My brother bought his then girlfriend Alanis MTV Unplugged CD and we would listen to the songs over and over again. From then on, I was hooked. I was old enough to understand the lyrics, apply it to my life and make my own interpretations.

I don’t think of Alanis as a singer but a storyteller or a poet. Her use of words doesn’t seem to fail in conveying things. She is known for not censoring things, she tells what she feels. On the same note, she does not reveal the identities of the people she mentions on her songs which show great professionalism. On some level, even though they’ve hurt her, she still respects them. In one of the interviews I’ve watched, she mentioned that she doesn’t write songs to hurt, punish or throw revenge to that individual. She writes those songs simply to express her emotions.

During my teenage years, I resorted to her music whenever I felt an emotion too strong for me to express. Thus, I “expressed” them by listening to her music on full blast.

After seeing her on concert last Wednesday, Nov. 5, I suddenly got interested about her life. Surely, she experienced struggles that would become the music that she shares with the world. Last night, I spent almost 3 hours searching for videos, concerts, interviews, documentaries and anything to do with her life. And today pretty much consisted of watching videos of her.



Although I would never want to experience the struggles she’s been through in the past, I want to be the aftermath of her-- surpassing those struggles. She’s a strong woman who expresses herself well and does not hide. Very professional, humorous, and a hint of mystery are within her.

Thank you for an amazing concert!

Thoughts swirling inside my head.

Today, it pained me to see such a strong, positive and happy person have tears roll down her cheeks. I guess when it comes to love; it can break such an individual into pieces. Love doesn’t choose who to hurt. When it comes to love, no one’s superhuman, no one’s invincible.

Being the human being that we are, we are never content or satisfied of what we have. But being the human being that we are, we also don’t know why we keep going back to that person who broke us into pieces. Even though it hurts, we still want that person back, to fill that void, that emptiness. Regardless of the pain, we endure it just to have that person back in our lives. But why, when they’ve hurt us numerous times?

Have we lost hope on finding someone who’ll treat us better? Are we afraid to love someone else, predicting we might get screwed over again? Or are we just simply masochists?

The Break-Up

We all know that a break up is the “suckiest thing in the whole world”. It sucks even more when you’re the one who got dumped. But let’s chill out for a second and poke fun of what a post- break up entails.

We tend to do things that just add a cherry on top of a hurtful break up:

-You listen to break up songs:
*I thought every break up song was written for me. Don’t deny, you’ve been there too. You turn on the radio and suddenly think “yes girl-friend, I feel your pain!” (I personally resorted to Alanis Morissette’s “Oughta Know” and Pink’s “Who Knew”.)

-You look at his/her pictures and replay memories you had together in your head:
*Everything in my room reminded me of him. I had pictures of him on my cork board, in a frame, presents and some things he owned. (Now they’re stored somewhere where I can’t see them).

-You check (a.k.a. stalk) their Myspace, Facebook or any other network profiles they might have:
*I haven’t gotten over this phase yet. But I have a rule I made for myself… I can only look at his profiles at certain times, under certain circumstances. Ha! Leave me alone.

-You talk about it 24/7 with your friends:
*The first 2 weeks, all I could talk about was the break up. Although my friends were very supportive, I could also hear them getting tired of me. Ha-ha. But I found out that the more I talked about it, the quicker I got over it because by then, I also got tired of hearing myself.

-You stand by your phone, hoping he or she would text message or call:
*First week, I had an obnoxious habit of checking my phone 3 million times a day.
*But by the second week, I was smart enough to turn my phone off at night to keep myself sane.

-You look for flings as a means of “distraction”:
*I went on one date with this guy. Although I had fun, there were just no fireworks going off. But hey, I got distracted.
*A friend of mine (ironically the guy I went on a date with—he got the hint we weren’t going to work out) gave my number to a guy who was new in town. We’ve been text messaging ever since… distraction, alright.

-You read “self-help” books:
*I read “It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken” by Greg Behrendts (same author of “He’s Just Not That Into You”.) A line form The Sweetest Thing came to mind: “Relationship Propaganda”!

-You resort to Sex & The City:
*If I was to be one of them, I say I’d be Carrie. We think so much alike. In one of the episodes when she and Mr. Big broke up, a line she said that came to mind was “Break-up rule #4: Never stop thinking about him even for a moment… because that’s the moment he’ll appear.” Men and their radars!
*Even though I’m so much like Carrie, I sometimes wish I had the mindset of Samantha. You know why *wink*.

-You rebel, act out or just do things you haven’t done before:
*I went out of town (but this was planned way long before the breakup). If time and money lets you, seriously, do get out of town for a getaway… it really helps!
*Retail Therapy… enough said.
*Getting a tattoo or piercing (I got my tongue pierced… yikes. Lucky bastards in the future… HAHAHA).
*Smoking (let’s just say Marlboro gained one of their customers back…)

-You over-eat or don’t eat at all:
*This never came from personal experiences but I’ve known people who gained so much weight because of a breakup.

-You can’t sleep:
*This I’ve experienced. I turned into the insomniac that I never was. Laying down, thinking and wasting my brain cells into oblivion. Then I cry myself to sleep, feeling shittier the next morning.

-You blog:
*Welcome to my random world :)

When own words can't describe it...

One Last Cry- Brian McKnight

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

About Time- Cassie

I guess its about time that I'm finally moving on
I don't really care if its right or wrong
And in spite of the way i love your touch
You know its gon be better for both of us
It hurts like hell but i've got to try
You already know the reason why
So no matter who's right or wrong
I think its finally time that I'm moving on

It's Too Late- Carole King

There'll be good times again for me and you
But we just can't stay together
Don't you feel it too
Still I'm glad for what we had
And how I once loved you

Who Knew- Pink

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew

I Thought The World Was Round- Samantha Moore

Light won’t always show what’s true
sometimes it can leave me blind
make the truth too hard to find
and some days it can change my point of view
what I think of what I thought
what it was; now it’s not
its crazy, how I fell for everything
so if I fall this time then I’m to blame

A Pivotal Year

AUGUST 2008

I am leaving my teenage years behind in a few days. Though it may not feel oh-so different, (and like you care) I feel like I grew up so much this past year.

I went through (and still going through) so many things I have never imagined I would be experiencing a year or two ago.

I graduated and earned my Associates degree. My parents sent me half way across the world without their supervision. I could’ve done so many crazy things. But changing me wasn’t the best idea thus I stayed as my old, introverted self. I didn’t enjoy going to school (for the academic part) and quitting was an option but decided not to take the easy way out. I stayed in school and tried to stick it out.

Though school was not my game, I had a mind-set that “two more years and I can do whatever the fuck I want”. So when I thought and felt like everything was going to be okay, I got rejected by my first choice of transfer university. That feeling of wanting to quit chased me again. I felt like my life was falling apart; no goal, no direction. But as the saying goes, when one door shuts, another one opens. And so I got accepted to my second of choice of university and will be going back for my junior year starting winter quarter. Mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety await me.

My responsibilities as an adult have also hiked up this past year. About 5 months ago, I landed a job as an assistant teacher at an early learning center. I’ve been learning so much from the children (as ironic as that may sound) and love the company of my awesome co-workers. I’ve been put through so many challenges and as much as I complain about it and breakdown, that is when I actually feel alive.

This year, I was also turned on and off like a light bulb. It’s hard when the person you love and care about the most doesn’t feel the same way anymore… the third time around. I’ve been through so many painful realizations and shed a bucket of tears. But recently, I’ve put a halt to my tears and have stopped wallowing in self-pity. Instead, I’ve been treating myself well. For the first time, I’m thinking about myself before others… and it feels damn great.

To celebrate this pivotal year, I am going to wild out (no, not really) in Los Angeles (my long-awaited trip!) I have been working my ass off to save for this trip and suffice to say, I deserve a damn vacation. Hollywood, here I come!

As challenging as this year had been so far, I believe these trials and tribulations are what’s making me a stronger person. Little things that used to break me into pieces are now just something that I am able to surpass with ease. But hey, I am not invincible. I still cry and get pushed off life’s little edge time again.

Looking back, I feel like I have come so far. One day I am put up high on a pedestal and hit rock bottom the next. Feelings of elatedness and moments of defeat have taken a toll on this rollercoaster better known as my life… And I have learned to embrace it.

Random. Except not.

When people meet me for the first time, they have two immediate assumptions of me: Shy or bitchy:

-Maybe it’s my lack of words in conversations, I don’t know. For the most part, I don’t think I’m shy, I just don’t know what to say to new people I meet.

-For the most part, I’m not bitchy, I just seem like it. Ha.

I also have a reputation of being a “boyfriend stealer” or being a “rebound girl”:

-Boyfriend stealer because I, for some reason, hang out with guys who have issues with their girls. So, I end up looking like the "other" girl who caused the issues. Please, spare me.

-Rebound girl because I seem to be the target of a guy who had just been dumped by a girl. Why, I’m at your service to get over your heartache… not!

My favorite quote this week: "You have a guy's mentality!"

[Few more weeks til' L.A.-- really need to go on a vacation!]

R.I.P. Chuck.

July 1988- June 2008

Sometimes in life we don’t appreciate things until they are gone. We tend to take everything for granted and complain too much about almost everything that surround our everyday lives. We have tendencies of forgetting how fortunate we are and that the simple, little things can mean just as much as the big things. We forget that we are given a life to enjoy, venture on and serve purpose to.

Today, I just found out that a fellow international student lost his life while on a roadtrip. I never really knew him or hung out with him. But when I had the chance to exchange conversations with him, I always thought that he was funny and kind. He just had a positive and calming aura.

Even though I didn’t know Chuck that well, we were still somehow connected. I knew him, I nodded at him at the Shoreline hallways, I spoke to him and I laughed with him.

Now he’s gone. But maybe his purpose in life is over and that’s why he was taken away from us. He made people laugh and made a lot of friends. Through his death, he made people, like me; appreciate life on a much higher level.

Thank you, Chuck, you will be missed dearly.

"Best Friend"

When I feel like shit, you’re there to brighten my day,
A simple glance at you, there really isn’t much to say.
To my troubles you listen and never complain,
You always let the sun out to replace the rain.
You calm me down like no other,
No doubt about it, you always make me feel better.
I tried to give you up but I can’t let go,
You just take away the pain and the deep sorrow.
We only hang out once in awhile but when we do,
I never want to let go, just want to hold on to you.
We become so attached that your smell stays with me,
You give me the feeling of being able to be free.
I know you’re bad for me yet I keep inhaling you,
No one understands me the way you do,
No, nobody understands,


It’s just me and you.

a world of our own

When we’re together, the world becomes our own. We act like little kids and are just plain silly. We laugh like there’s no tomorrow. We don’t let anything be a hindrance to the smiles that are plastered on our faces.

But when the laughter stops and the smiles fade, reality strikes and we suddenly realize that…

the world isn’t ours.

A bunch of things about the 4-letter word.

Image courtesy by GettyImages

I think I will lock my heart for a while. For the longest time, it had a mind of its own. But recently, it’s starting to coordinate with my head and I’m learning more and more of how to control it thus getting more sense of how I truly feel.

I have not given up on love and I never will. But sometimes love just complicate things when it shouldn’t. Being loved and loving someone entails the most amazing feeling ever and not of confusion and/or uncertainties.

Before meeting “a now friend”, I told myself that I want to be able to learn from him. And I did. I learned that we can’t force love. It is something that we slowly learn to do and certainly something we cannot force on someone regardless of how much we care about them. I also learned that there’s a big difference between “Love” and “In Love”.

Now, the next time I meet someone, I still would like to be able to learn from him and make sure that if love is involved; the feeling is mutual and not a one-way street.

For once I’m admitting this, without sounding like a conceited bitch; I would like to be treated like a princess. I want somebody who would think the world of me and someone who would feel like the luckiest person on earth because they’re with me. I want to be able to wake up every single morning feeling good about myself and looking forward to what the world has to offer.

I know that someday love will find me. But for now, I’m locking my heart and make someone find the key instead of just giving it.

The Cliff: a familiar place.

Image courtesy of GettyImages

The edge of a cliff is a familiar place to me. I’ve been pushed off of it one too many times. But no matter how many times I get pushed, I still hang on for dear life. I continue to tighten my grip until I bleed and bruise. I hang on because I hope that some day; somehow, someone will take my hand and pull me back up to the surface.

I recently just found myself hanging on my familiar place again. But I want to do something different this time.

I’m letting go and just fall.

Perhaps somebody is just waiting to catch me in mid-air. It is a gamble but I've risked my heart before... why not risk it again? A good thing might come out of it this time... hopefully.

Lost in Translation.

Picture courtesy of GettyImages

"Se thelw san louloudi pou dipsai gia mia stalia vroxh"

Lullaby :)

Can't really write much coz I'm just uber tired. My arms and legs are sore... but it's so worth it :) First day with the kids today. Toddlers... they're a handful but they're the sweetest things ever! Never knew I had this side of me. Hopefully one day I'll be a good mom. Hehe. It was funny being asked "do you have kids of your own?" twice. I guess teenage pregnancy is just one of those not-so-taboo things anymore. But yeah. I super love the kids, they're adorable despite the drools, boogers, snotty noses and poopies. Haha. Just seeing them smile, hear their laughters and feel their hugs make my day already :)

Another challenge tomorrow. Can't wait.

:)

Today was a good day. Despite of my litte emo morning, everythng was bliss.

Got a call around 11am... I got the daycare job! :) Say hello to teacher Venus, hahaha. Will start training tomorrow from 9am-5:30pm :) Gotta get used to the waking-up-early routine again. Oh well, it's worth it.

My laptop crashed again. All files erased. Oh well, didn't lose anything that important. Gotta look at the brighter side of things, internet is super fast right now and it doesn't take forever when I restart :)

Sometimes in life we just gotta look at the positive side of things no matter how sucky it gets.

100 Random Facts

Got this idea from my friend's blog some time ago. I decided to make a list of my own since I haven't been doing much lately. (Took me two days!)

1. When I wash dishes, I leave the utensils behind because I can’t stand the sound of spoons and forks clanging.

2. I’ve never owned a pair of high heels.

3. I don’t read a lot of books.

4. I've been lucky to cruise around Lebanon, Israel and Greece.

5. I took English Literature, European History, Human Biology and Accounting during my freshman and sophomore years in high school.

6. I have a short attention span.

7. Since my maternal grandmother died on December 2000, I started praying before I go to bed which became my ritual.

8. I knock on wood 3 times before I go to bed or else I won’t be able to sleep.

9. Closets should be closed too or else I just toss and turn when I see it open at night.

10. The sound of the clock ticking helps me sleep.

11. So does scratching my back or playing with my hair.

12. My eyes’ prescription is not the same. The left eye is -4.00 while the right one is -3.75.

13. I’m nearsighted.

14. I have a habit of staring without realizing it.

15. I don’t get the need to have big boobs.

16. My head is hurting right now trying to think of other random facts about myself.

17. I love to write poems but I have to be super inspired.

18. All my poems rhyme.

19. I’m sexually retarded.

20. But I’m not a prude.

21. I was born in Cyprus but have a Filipino passport.

22. I had an older brother who passed away at birth.

23. I have a mild case of stutter.

24. I think I might have a little bit of dyslexia too.

25. I have an older brother and the gap between us is 11 years.

26. I speak 3 languages (big whoop).

27. I have a chickenpox scar on the corner of my left eye.

28. I have pierced my ears at least 10 times in my life.

29. I’m a 34A/B.

30. I’m a hopeless romantic

31. I enjoy long walks at the beach.

32. I don’t think kissing in the rain is that special.

33. Not that I’ve tried it.

34. I smoke when I’m stressed or upset. It really calms me down.

35. I explain myself better through writing.

36. I look up almost every “How To’s” on the internet.

37. I think I sound good singing in the shower.

38. I love quoting movies and songs.

39. I would never date a guy shorter than me.

40. I rarely have my phone on ring (loud).

41. I don’t pick up unknown numbers/ numbers that aren’t registered on my phone. I let them roll on voicemail.

42. I pretend and mask things more than I should and I know it’s not healthy.

43. My hands get uber cold when I’m nervous.

44. I have OCD when it comes to washing hands.

45. Dirty fingernails, body odor and bad breath are some of my pet peeves.

46. I’ve been heartbroken 3 times.

47. And I know that it could happen again.

48. I hate the color orange.

49. I’m not very interested in Oscar nominated films.

50. I think that Abigail Breslin can’t be like Dakota Fanning no matter how hard she tries.

51. Lindsay Lohan is my favorite IT girl.

52. I had my first “grown up” kiss at 16 with a high school friend. He’s now gay.

53. I don’t like sharing soap bars.

54. I think semi-bald guys are hot.

55. I learned how to do my own laundry at 17.

56. My dream job is to be a flight stewardess.

57. I’m still a, you-know-what.

58. I prefer showering at night.

59. I don’t like jelly with my peanut butter sandwich.

60. I’m not easily influenced.

61. The worst after-taste is gum and cigarette together.

62. The best feeling is to love and to be loved in return. (Yes, it’s a “Moulin Rouge” quote.)

63. I have 4 stitches on my chin due to an accident when I was little.

64. I hate tofu.

65. I was once a volleyball player.

66. I know that I don’t work hard enough.

67. I’ve been to a lesbian wedding in Canada.

68. I lived in New York for a year when I was little.

69. I’ve been on top of the Twin Towers.

70. My favorite scent is Dream by Gap.

71. My parents have been married for 31 years.

72. I don’t believe in love at first sight.

73. I never got into the habit of biting my nails.

74. I like to “Google” people.

75. Yes, I’ve “Googled” myself too.

76. Sometimes I wish I was rich kid brat and have everything handed to me on a silver platter.

77. But for the most part, I’m happy with what I have.

78. I’m a cheapskate, clearance sections are my calling.

79. I have trust issues.

80. I’m an emo deep inside.

81. I think Ellen Degeneres is the funniest comedian.

82. “Friends” was the best show on television.

83. I’m not a big fan of old, black and white, “classic” movies. They bore me out.

84. Except “The Sound of Music” which I’ve seen more than 20 times.

85. I always have to read something when I’m doing “number 2”. Even if it’s just the back of whatever bottles I find in the toilet.

86. I can’t carry a conversation regarding politics.

87. Gossip magazines are addicting.

88. I get a migraine at least 2 times a month. And they don't go away quickly.

89. I’ve never been to a prom or homecoming or whatever sort of dance in high school.

90. I was christened Maria Cyphi (Cyprus-Philippines) Venus but only have Venus on my legal documents.

91. My dad said they named me Venus because he saw the Venus star while standing outside the maternity clinic balcony (and that Aphrodite a.k.a Venus originated from Cyprus.)

92. I bit a boy’s ear when I was little. He cried and told his dad.

93. I have two godchildren: my nephew Adam and my extended cousin’s daughter, Jasmine.

94. I talk to myself sometimes.

95. I’m scared to take my driver’s license test and that is why I’ve been stalling for nearly a year.

96. I haven’t spent Christmas in my home country for nearly 10 years.

97. I love airplane food.

98. I’m lactose intolerant and hate the taste of soy milk on its own.

99. I’m allergic to beer, peaches and some seafood.

100. I can’t believe I thought of all these things!

Best Friends since 1999.

Laetitia: Seriously I can’t wait to see you again. It hurts that you can’t go Cyprus for a holiday with your parents.

Venus: I know, but it's okay... mark my words… we WILL see each other some day. It's probably going to be a big celebration or something, like someone's wedding... haha. I still want you as one of my bridesmaids, btw!

Laetitia: Awwwwwwwwwwww!! You too! If I get married, lol.

Venus: HAHAHA. Of course you will, you just have to find the right guy… we both do!

Laetitia: And we will… one day.

Venus: Someone who'd treat us like a princess. Hahaha, LAME.

Laetitia: Hahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaha. It’s true though, lol. They have to treat us well.

A conversation I had with a best friend of 9 years. Today we just reminisced about the good old days we had when we were younger. And all of a sudden, we talked about family, marriage, finding the right guy, etc. It was nice to see how far we’ve come and that we really are growing up. And that despite of the miles that separate us, we're still very good friends, like sisters almost.

I remember when we were in school, we’d have free periods because we didn’t have to take advance Greek lessons. So while everyone was in class, we’d just sit at the cafeteria, or the benches or the concrete seats at the open gym and just talked about life (aka gossip about people, haha!). Then when we got home, we’d still call each other on the phone and talk for hours even though we’ve just been together at school half of the day. She was someone I depended on a lot. We also had each other’s back. Yes, we fought here and there but resolved things as quickly as we could. People found it weird when we weren’t together and immediately knew if we had a fight. That's how close we were!

I miss the sleepovers and the non-stop laughter. I miss making fun of each other (she's the reason behind why some of our friends started calling me "Veni".) I miss her a lot and really hope to see her some day.

Love you, Laetitia! (aka Tish, Leila, Latoush, Latisha, and whatever other names people call you... haha!!)

P.S. Thank you for not turning into a French bitch :) Je t'aime, kori palavi! Hahaha.

Look out my window, my sunshine's all around.

What's a fact about the last person who called you?
She's the big sister I never had and love her to bits.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Not really.

What happened at 10:00 am today?
I got my butt out of bed.

When did you last cry?
A couple days ago while watching "If Only".

What is your favorite thing to eat?
Right now I'm obsessed with Nutella!

What do you want in your life right now?
Get a job and leave Seattle for a bit.

Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
I used to carry an umbrella but it broke so now I just rely on my hood.

Do you wear Crocs?
No, they're cute though.

What do you smell like?
Right now? Coffee.

What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
The red or purple one.

What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
Pillows and my comfy quilt.

What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
The last one from my aunt in the Philippines.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I don't think so.

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
No.

What was the last movie you went to see?
In the movies, Sweeney Todd (I know, it's been a while!) and on DVD, Wimbledon.

Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod?
Yep.

Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
10 mins by car?

Can you sleep in jeans?
Yes. Hahaha. Especially when they're new, I gotta break them in so I sleep in them :p

Are you a cuddler?
Yes but not just with anyone. Haha, duh.

Something you just don't understand?
A lot of things.

Where were you on July 4th, 2007?
Ate at a friend's house then ate some more here at home. And then went to see the fireworks at Edmonds.

What does the last text message you received say?
"Goodluck, take care always and love you."

What did you reply?
"You take care of yourself too, love you!"

Who was the last person you were in a car with that is under 20?
Elsha and Erika.

What is the last thing you bought for someone?
Coffee.

Do you trust people easily?
Nope.

Do you say "dawg"?
I could never pull it off.

What are you proud of?
Not giving up on school.

Have you ever dated someone named Derrick?
No.

Who was last to cook for you?
My uncle.

When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
Uh, no.

Do you care what others think about you?
Yes.

Do you think you will be married in 10 years?
Hopefully.

Will you ever hug the last person you hugged again?
Yes.

What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
Getting a job.

Who was the last person you called?
Roxanne.

Who was your last missed call?
Roxanne.

Do you plan on moving in the next year?
In where? Haha.

What were you doing at 9pm last Friday night?
I think I just got home.

Who was the last person to play with your hair?
My aunt.

I'll bet you miss someone right now?
Always.

Do you think long distance relationships are ever really worth it?
If you really love the person, you'll make it worth it.

When is the last time you made someone else cry?
Can't recall.

What are you doing tomorrow?
No idea.

What are you doing tonight?
Probably go out for dinner and have my usual Thursday girltalks with Roxanne.

What is bothering you right now?
Waiting for a call! Call me already. Haha.

Was New Years enjoyable?
It was okay.

Plans for this weekend?
I don't know yet. I kinda want to jog and breath fresh air at Greenlake.

Dreams

Do they really mean anything?

I'm talking about dreams as in when you lay down in bed at night, fall asleep and then your head is just filled with random, weird thoughts. And then when you wake up in the morning, you feel puzzled because you wonder why you dreamt of such things and if they ever mean anything.

I've been having vivid dreams for the past 2 weeks. Vivid as in I remember every single detail when I wake up the next morning. I dreamt of something last week. A week after, I went to Barnes & Noble with a friend and looked at this dream book where it tells you what your dreams might mean. I checked and accurately enough, my dream meant exactly what it had described in the book. (Come to think of it, I should purchase that book!)

I slept at about 2:30am last night (err.. morning) and woke up at 8am because the dream bugged me so much. And for the past 6 hours or so, it's still in my head and it's constantly on repeat. No matter how hard I try to block it out, my brain keeps rewinding. It's really frustrating and the sucky thing is that I don't want to talk about it with my friends coz I'm really not up for their overprotective talks.


FUDGE IT.

Spent the day with a few familiar gnarly faces.

(picture courtesy of Hakson)

I was debating whether to go or not for today’s Seattle Tour… after all, I’ve been to 7 Seattle Tours already. After contemplating for an hour this morning, I decided to just go since I’ve been stuck at home for the past few days. I just basically followed the current IPMs do their thing. They’ve matured, work-wise since the last time I saw them. Hehehe.

The tour as a whole didn’t really work out as planned because it was raining, hailing and at some points, snowing. Yes, this is Seattle Spring! It was freezing and I regret not wearing more layers. My aunt told me to bring my waterproof vest but didn’t listen to her… so yeah.

First stop was Westlake Center (what else is new?!) for lunch. Then we walked to Pacific Place and stayed there for half an hour. Walked around with Elsha and went to three shops (J.Crew, Express and United Colors of Benetton). She bought an item from each of them!! She spent over $200 in a course of 30 minutes. My gosh, that girl! But it was really fun watching her though; I lived vicariously through her for that half hour 

Then we walked to Pike Place Market but half way there, we forgot that we left Hakson at Bose… Hahaha. Pike Place was like any other Seattle Tour. Pit-stop at “the-first-Starbucks shop-ever” then walked in the market for a bit then walked back to the bus stop to go to Seattle Center.

Seattle Center was rather empty. Took pictures and played a game by the fountain. Played the coin game and poor Yi-Chen got tackled by two boys (one of them being Jeremy) and fell down. Funny though. :p

Then took the students back on campus and got there about 5:45. Then we all went to Sushi Land for dinner. There were 11 of us: me, Elsha, Yi-Chen, Yasu, Paul, Frederick, Hakson, Melissa, Jeremy, Erika and Paul’s girlfriend (I forgot her name ) When we got there, I told the hostess, “party of 11” and her face was indescribable. Haha. Since there were a lot of us, there was no way we were able to sit all together so we got separated: 7 people at the booth and 4 people at the stools. It became a “Couples vs. Singles” theme. At the booth, there were: Yi-Chen and Jeremy, Frederick and Melissa, Paul and his girlfriend (I really feel bad for forgetting her name!) and Hakson (he was the only single at the Couples Booth, lol). Then at the stools were: me, Yasu, Erika and Elsha.

Then we all went our separate ways after dinner.

Today was a good day. I laughed soooo much! I missed the IPMs a lot so hanging out with them today was awesome. From the bus ride to Downtown to the way back home, the laugher was non-stop!

Some funny lines:

(in the bus)

Elsha: “My phone is a Smart phone”
Venus: “Oh, so you’re calling my phone dumb?!”
Paul: HAHAHA!!

Venus: (talking to Elsha, pointing at Paul) “Did she go?”
Elsha: “Hahaha, SHE?!”
Paul: “Uh, she without the S!”
Elsha: “HAHAHA, she without the “ASS”

Yi-Chen: (pointing at my bag) “That’s so cute, Ven..a”
Elsha: “HAHAHA, Venus without the “ASS!”

(in the car on the way home)

Erika: (proud) “Everybody, Elsha is sleeping over at my house!”
Everyone: “Oooohhh!”
Erika: “She will be a matured person tomorrow”
Yi-Chen: “Enjoy! You will get everything you asked for in life”
(voices and laughter overlapping)

(after everyone got dropped off)

Yasu: “You know Erika… is she really a lesbian?”
Venus: "HAHAHAHA"

Laughter is good.

Musique

Where You Are- Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey

Jessica: “Take me where you are, where you and I will be together, once again, we’ll be dancing in the moonlight… just like we used to do and you’ll be smiling back at me and only then will I be free, where I can be, where you are”

Nick: “Now baby there are times when selfishly, I'm wishing that you were here with me, so I can wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see that every night while you are dreaming I'm here to guard you from afar”

Both: “And anytime I feel alone, I close my eyes and dream of where you are”

So Perfect- MYMP

“With the sight of you getting closer, I catch my breath, I catch my breath… you’re an angel in disguise… so perfect, so perfect… I wanted this all my life.”

Say it Again- Marie’ Digby

“Say it again for me, coz I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I’m the only one who blows your mind… say it again for me, it’s like the whole world stops to listen when you tell me you’re in love… say it again.”

Trouble Sleeping- Corinne Bailey Rae

“It’s constant compromise between thinking and breathing”

“Could it be I’m suffering, because I never give in, won’t say that I’m falling in love… tell me I don’t seem myself couldn’t I been something else… don’t say I’m falling in love”

You Picked Me- A Fine Frenzy

“Like an apple on a tree, hiding out behind the leaves, I was difficult to reach, but you picked me. Like a shell on a beach, just another pretty piece, I was difficult to see but you picked me.”

Everywhere I go- Katharine McPhee

“It’s funny how you think you really know yourself, like you would never lose yourself to someone else and I was up to thinking it was all about you and me… silly, silly me”

“Everywhere I go, no matter I do boy, I just can’t get you out of my head. So it annoys me, you wasn’t man enough to come and tell me, that I was never the one… like you said I was”

“If you would’ve only told me how you really felt, I could’ve put my feelings into someone else. But I was busy thinking that’s where I was supposed to be… silly, silly me. But there was something about you that I couldn’t resist… can’t put my finger on it but whatever it is…”

Not With You- Cassie

“And I love it when it’s just the two of us lying around… and I can’t help I want you to my self, the feeling’s getting stronger now… so I hope you feel the way I feel.”

Sweetest Sin- Jessica Simpson

“Your lips upon my lips… your fingers tips on my finger tips… your skin upon my skin… would be the sweetest sin.”

Look After You- The Fray

“You’ve begun to feel like home…”

Emotion- BeeGees/ Destiny’s Child

“I’ll cry me a river… that leads to your ocean.”

Holding On For You- Liberty X

“Sunshine fades to gray, the second I'm away. Minutes turn to hours, without you”

“I struggle through the day, pretend that I'm okay. I make believe that you're here, beside me”

Across the Universe- The Beatles

“Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing. Through my open views inviting and inciting me, limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns, it calls me on and on across the universe”

With You- Jessica Simpson

“I relate to you naturally, everybody else just fades away. Sometimes, it’s hard to breathe… just knowing you found me”

Waiting (Save Your Life)- Omnisoul

“At times you’ve hated me, ain’t that how love should be… so just let me save your life”

Forget About Me- Little Bit

“Why don’t you love me, the way I loved you… it feels so crazy, coz I don’t know what I did it to you. If you’re gonna hurt me, then do it quickly… coz I’m tired of crying. If you don’t wanna stick around then baby forget about me”

Once in a Lifetime- Freestyle

“It's not like I’m running outta time… I'm taking everything in stride… It's just I never thought I'd find… what would make me change my mind. I know that what I've found is once in a lifetime, I know there's no way out coz it’s once in a lifetime”

No Day but Today- Rent Soundtrack

“There’s only us… there’s only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way… No day but today”

Dunzo!

Took my last final EVER at Shoreline :) :(

Yes, mixed feelings. As much as I feel (somewhat) accomplished, I don't want to leave SCC. It has become my comfort zone and my familiar place. And soon it's time for "big school" and I'm really not ready. I'm so glad I have 6 months to prepare for that.

My finals went okay:
Speech Comm.- Not to sound too cocky but it was a pretty easy final. This was my lay-back-and-relax class.

First Aid- Part of the exam was take home (100 MCQ's) and about 10 short answer questions in class. Final grades are posted... did pretty well I must say. I'm not gonna miss skill days, I'll tell you that.

Communications- The quarter as a whole, I feel blah. But I do know for sure that my grades are inconsistent. I just hope I reach at least a 3.0. The final was, again, blah. I know I did well for the MCQ's as I did the practice quizzes 3 times each! Not too sure about the short answer questions.

So what to do now?... Job hunt!! I really need to get a job before May so I could save up for L.A. Coz if I don't save up, I might not be able to go :( (Which reminds me, I have to submit my tax returns... fudge.)

*Sigh* 2 more bloody years of college!

"I love you too"

(Picture courtesy of GettyImages)

It’s one of those times when you just have to believe that everything is going to be okay. I feel like I’m the one to blame. It pains me to hear my mom cry on the other end of the phone.

Mom, I will be okay, I want you to take care of yourself. I’m a grown up now, one who you taught heck of a lot to survive in this world. Next time you see me, I’ll hopefully be a successful person, one who you’ll be very proud of.

Never take someone’s presence for granted, cherish every moment.

We’ll pass through this challenge. See you soon, mom. I love you.

When Insomnia takes its toll... (nah, not really).

Do you think you can get through it without answering "I don't know"?
Get through what?

Are you involved with anyone?
"ish". Haha.

Where do you wish you were right now?
Next to him.

What should you be doing right now?
NOT what I’m doing right now.

Does sex mean love?
No.

What do you believe is a true saying about life?
"Life's what you make it".

Are you a bad influence?
Hahaha, I'd like to think not.

Who has had the most influence on you (good)?
Different people for various reasons :)

Night out or night in?
Mostly night ins. Night outs, depends who I'm with.

Single forever with a great family or no family and your soul mate?
First option... but heck, NEITHER!! Hello.

What is your favorite game?
Tetris and Tekken! Haha.

What is your favorite book?
Confessions of a Shopaholic (I've read it 3 times).

Do you know how to change a tire?
Nope.

What item could you not go without during the day?
iPod and phone.

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
No.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Errr...

In the past week have you gotten kissed?
Yes.

Have you ever lied about something important to your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Maybe white lies, but nothing extreme.

Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
Permanent.

How long ago did you hug someone?
Today.

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
I guess, but it’s not very attractive.

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
No.

Do you ever think about any of your ex's?
He crosses my mind but not that way.

Need to get something off your chest? Are you going to?
Not really.

How do you feel about your life right now?
It has its ups and downs but I'm happy :)

What kind of car do you drive?
Either the Passport or the soccer mom van :)

What characteristic do you despise the most?
Arrogance, cockiness, liar, stuck up, etc.

Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
Nuh uh.

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
No.

How's the relationship between you and your ex?
No contact.

Do you talk dirty to people?
Hahaha. Funny.

Do you think you can make it on a "Moment of Truth?"
I hate that show!!

Anyone upset you lately?
No.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Either Anthony the bank guy or Roxanne.

Can you easily tell if someone's fake?
Sometimes. Some people are just really good at being fake.

Do you think you’re dumb?
I have my moments.

What could be done to make things better for you?
I like things the way there are right now.

Do you love someone (not family or friends) at the moment?
Love is too big of a word right now. But I LIKE :)

How's your heart?
It's at the right place :)

How many people have you kissed since new years?
One

Ever kiss someone with a name starting with a C?
Yes, ish.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an R?
No… but his last name starts with an R though, does that count? Hahaha.

First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Hahahaha. In his own words, "too soon".

Can you keep a secret?
Sure.

Are you happy with your living arrangement?
It's okay, it's free :)

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Sure.

Do you have trust issues?
Yeahuh.

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive, I have difficulties forgetting.

Who is a friend of the opposite sex that you can talk to?
You, yes YOU :p

What is today’s date?
March 4, 2008

Where will you be 12 hours from now?
Getting out of class.

Is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated?
Not so much anymore.

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
Not yet.

Where are your friends at?
Scattered around the world.

Are you on a desktop or laptop?
Laptop.

Does anyone hate you for no reason?
I hope not.

Can you make yourself cry?
If there’s a reason.

What are you planning to do today?
My day has ended. But I’ll tell you what I did. Speech class, hung out with Nikko, Communications class, got dropped off home by Nikko, emailed people, ate my late lunch, napped for 20 minutes, talked to my dad, talked to Roxanne, homework, watched Idol… bla bla bla.

Play an instrument?
Nah.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
No, I don’t want to risk what’s going to happen in the future (the present). Haha.

What are your favorite colors?
Purple, Black, White, Green and Yellow.

Have you ever had your nails done?
Yes

Have you ever passed out?
Yes, for a brief 5 seconds.

What are you doing tomorrow?
First Aid and Speech Comm. Classes.

Are you easily confused?
Sometimes.

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
I’d like to think so :p

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
No, nothing to that extreme. I just wasn’t liked. Hahaha.

Is your current hair straight?
Sort of.

What color are your socks right now?
Bare feet.

Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it?
Yeah, it was one of those diaries where you get your friends to write in it. I want it back!!

Do you fall for people easily?
Depends how they screw with my mind… hahaha, keeeeding.

Everything happens for a reason?
YES.

Have you ever dated someone more than once?
What does “dating” even mean?

Who have you texted in the last 72 hours?
Roxanne, Nikko, Dad

Last thing you got in the mail?
My scissors thingamajiggy.

Do you find members of the opposite sex confusing?
Not all of them.

Do you usually invite a lot of people to your house to hang out?
Nah. Back in Cyprus though I had a lot of sleepovers.

Who were the last people to hang out at your house?
Roxanne.

Who do you call more than anyone else?
Roxanne and Nikko.

Have you done anything bad in the last week?
Yes.

Whose car did you last drive?
My uncle’s.

Does anyone like you?
I hope so or I’ll kick him in the crotch. Hahaha.

Is it going somewhere with them?
I’d like to think so.

Who was the last person you argued with?
Playful argument with Nikko. Hey, I thought you’d always let me win, you butthead.

Name something you love?
I’m not very difficult to please. I love the little things like watching Friends re-runs, hot shower, working out and not giving up in the middle of it, brownies, seeing a Facebook wall message from my friends, etc.

When was the last date you went on?
Valentine’s.

Do you want to fall in love?
Eventually.

Look After You

(Pictures courtesy of Getty Images)



"You are the bearer of unconditional things,
You held your breath, and the door for me.

Thanks for your patience."

Firsts & Lasts

School
First: Nueva Escuela
Last: Shoreline Community College

Crush
First:(real life) Kenneth Clarus from elementary school, (celebrity) Aaron Carter.
Last: (real life) Nikko Roa, (celebrity) Jared Leto.

Kiss
First: a childhood friend.
Last: "real kiss"- an ex boyfriend, a-peck-on-the-cheek kiss, 'Ko.

Concert
First: Hi-5 (no, not the kiddy group)
Last: Alyssa's band, twotwentytwo's.

Job
First: International Peer Mentor.
Last: Int'l programs assistant slash liaison

Paycheck (amount)
First: Around $1000, it was about 2 months worth of work.
Last: Around $800.

Fight
First: With my cousin Abby when we were little. I won of course, haha.
Last: I don't really fight now bur probably with one of my parents.

Funeral
First: My dad's friend's daughter.
Last: My grandma's.

Wedding
First: Uncle Noel's and Aunt Dianne's, I was a flower girl.
Last: Corinne's and Sophia's.

Car
First: n/a
Last: still n/a

Purchase (with your OWN money)
First: 1/3 of my tuition fee.
Last: Gum, Redbull, MM.

Friday Afternoon Boredom= FAB? (whatevs)

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Phone bills

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I wouldn't say "romantic" but it was nice. Hahaha. ICHI BENTO!! :p

3. Do you honestly want to have kids someday?
Someday.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
Being a better student.

5. What do you want to be doing right now?
Complete nothingness :)

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A flight stewardess.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
1

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Coz it's the one available? No reason, really.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
Thankgoodness I don't have a car.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
New York. Probably go by myself and explore the city.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
"It's okay... it's Friday!"

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"I'm blessed"

14. Do you miss being a child?
YES!!!

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Washing dishes. Yuck.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Sure.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in, DUH.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Tinker Bell.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl?
Girl talks and complaining about life over coffee.

21. When did you first start feeling old?
When I turned 18.

23. Your favorite lunch meat?
Chicken.

24. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
DVDs.

25. Beach or lake?
Beach.

26. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Nah. But they don't last as much as they used to back in the days.

27. Do you own a property?
I guess my laptop and my iPod :p

28. Favorite Guilty pleasure?
Gossip magazines, brownies, clothes on sale.

29. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Why would I tell if I don't want anyone to find out about it? Hahaha. But nah, there isn't a favourite movie I wouldn't want anyone to find out about.

30. What's your drink?
Anything with Vodka. Hahaha.

31. Cowboys or Indians?
Neither.

32. Cops or Robbers?
Neither.

33. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
A bunch of them! But mostly Tish, Raff, Costi, Laura, Peter, Savva and Raymonde.

34. What radio station is your car radio tuned into right now?
First off, I don't really listen to the radio and second, I don't have a car :)

35. Norm or Cliff?
?

36. Grey's or The Office?
I don't watch them.

37.?
Beats me.

38. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
I don't work anymore. And I didn't have my own space when I worked.

39. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Adam Levine
Channing Tatum
George Clooney
Lindsay Lohan
Anne Hathaway
Cameron Diaz

oh and Jared Leto, he's my new love :)

40. Indoors or Outdoors?
Indoors.

41. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
No... well not MY vehicle. :p

42. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No.

43. Last book you read?
I'm re-reading Confessions of a Shopaholic.

44. Do you own stuffed animals?
I have a bunch of them. My original favourite is the one my best friend gave me before I left Cyprus. She had it from when she was a baby and it was her favourite and she gave it to me. And my new favourite is Mr. Panda. Haha.

45. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
By the beach. Hahaha.

46. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Never been anywhere in California. But I will soon :)

47. Do you go to church?
Not lately. Last time was Christmas Eve.

48. How old are you?
19.5

49. What do you love most in life at this moment?
Loud laughters and big smiles.

50. Where's the last question?
You just asked a question. DURRR.

Naïveté

Today seemed like a long day: Attended my classes, went to the bank, stopped by at Safeway to buy a giftcard and now I am here; after two hours of reading ancient emails.

Shit. I was such a naive person back then. I was re-reading my emails to my girlfriends back in Cyprus when I first "fell in love" with this guy. Man oh man, I was such a stupid kid. I fell in the hole so fast that it was hard for me to get out of it. Coz of that, I built walls around me that are quite difficult for people to climb up at.

I need some shelter of my own protection baby

I've become the mean, tempermental bitch. The snob. The hard-to-get. And sometimes I hate myself for becoming those things. Why can't I be "normal"?

Whatever normal means.

I've pushed quite a few people away.

And there's this guy who's suprisingly still around. And I hope he continues to stick around a bit more until I figure out what to do with myself.

It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do

I miss the times when I didn't have to think so much about things, when I didn't give a fuck.
I miss the risk-taker in me.

That Time of Year

(picture courtesy of GettyImages)

I had a good time

Thank you :)

Already?!

I can't believe there's only 4 more weeks until the quarter ends. Shizzzz.

Gotta propose my fieldwork ideas for Mass. Comm. on Tuesday, I have no idea what I'm gonna do!

This is such a blah quarter, I have no idea how I'm doing except for Speech Comm. which is treating me well =]

First Aid is being blah too. Frickin' 65% for the test. Argh. Hopefully the 100% writing assignment will compensate for it.

I'm already itching to go to L.A.! Dates are set: May 5-8 =] Haven't booked the flight and hotel yet but will do soon!

OPT will start May 19, not quite sure how that's gonna work.

Before I know it, September will be here, university time! I'm excited but to be honest, I CAN wait. Hahaha. After Shoreline, I don't want to think about books, homework, studies, etc. quite yet!

Time, please pause for a while!!

A day full of ups and downs

Haven't blogged for more than a week. Why, you ask?:

Midterms, quizzes, homework, essays, applications and oh yeah, social life.

I got done with my midterms yesterday. I don't feel comfortable but I know I did my best and it's all that matters.

So today seemed like a very long, exhausting day. Felt like I was riding a rollercoaster of emotions. Nervous, excited, disappointed, happy, sad etc. It sucks, I tell you. Hahaha.

Here's a brief recap of my day so far:

-I aced my First Aid assignment... literally aced it, I got a frickin 100%. Such a good start of my day.

-Did a lot better than I thought on my Speech Communications midterm. I dreaded getting the result today but when I did, yeahyuh! Hahaha. Full points on the essay part. Say what?! Heehee.

-Ko is not feeling well :( Get well soon, buddyyyy.

-Found out that I didn't get the International Programs Assistant job. Nevermind. Life goes on. But I was disappointed when I found out. I guess it's because it would've been my second job ever. And in my first job, I didn't experience rejection, and now that time has come. It bugged me for a second, but now I'm okay :) I've worked at the office for nearly 2 years and giving me a position there again would've resulted to "they picked her again?!" So no... (I don't want by business leaking, people like to run they mouth) As Polly said, I should give a chance to other people. Hahaha, so true.

-I missed my bus.

-My mom is coming on March 12th! YAYYY.

-My phone bill is HUGE :(

Y'see? ROLLERCOASTER, I tell ya.

thank you

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

I drank too much last night got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there they'll imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

It's funny how when a complete stranger comes into your vie, s/he affects it somehow and makes you contemplate about things you never really think about.

A friend asked me last night if I ever still feel, in his own words, "super lonely". I said yes. But I sort of take it back now. I have great friends, a supportive family, I get to laugh everyday and I'm alive. What more could I ask for? And by saying that I'm super lonely, it's as if the above things mean nothing. I do feel sad sometimes, but not lonely.

I have no reason to be.

BUT Thank You for telling me that's it's not so bad.

And thank you for lending an ear to my sniffles.
Yes YOU.
You know who you are :)

La Vita è Bella

Fill My Little World

1. If you could say anything to the person who has hurt you most in life what would it be?
i try not to hold grudges. i just let bad karma does its charm.

2. When will your next kiss be?
i don't kiss and tell. hahaha.

3. What song are you listening to?
Thank You- Dido

4. Who does it remind you of?
a few special people in my life.

5. Last movie you watched?
stepford wives on dvd, sweeney todd at the movies.

6. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
errr, yi-chen i think.

7. What CD is in your stereo?
Lindsay Lohan's. it's been in there for quite a while now. the shame :p

8. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't?
not really.

10. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?
beach.

11. What are you most looking forward to?
something =)

12. What are your nicknames?
Ve, Veni, Little Venus

13. Describe your ideal significant other:
ideal? when i meet him, i'll know immediately... or learn to know =)

14. Where would you like to live?
a nice looking condo in NYC. i love the city.

15. Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
ouf, it's been a long time.

16. When was the last time you were extremely dissapointed?
extremely? can't say really.

17. Who do you think the most about?
recently this certain someone.

TOP THINGS BOUT ME:

1. Are you single?
yup.

2. Are you happy?
yes.

3. Are you bored?
kinda.

4. Are you sad?
yes, because heath ledger died :( he was my love during his Sweat days.

5. Are you Italian?
no, are you?

6. Are you pregnant?
hahaha. i look like it but no, i'm not.

7. Are you tired?
not really.

8. Are you cool?
DUH. :p

9. Are you Irish?
no, I'm Venus.

10. Are your parents still married?
yup! it was actually their anniv. last Friday :) 31 years!!!

TEN LAST

1. Last phone call you made:
nikko.

2. Last phone call you received:
nikko.

3. Last person/people you hung out with:
cindy.

5. Last person you tackled:
my cousin.

6. Last person you IM'd:
polly.

7. Last text message you received:
roxanne.

8. Last person you hugged:
mari.

10. Last person you laughed with:
my uncle.

What's the age difference between you and the last person you kissed?
i can't remember who i kissed last.

Do you believe that there's always room in your heart for your first love?
i don't really have an answer for that. heehee.

Why can a guy sleep with a lot of people and it be okay, but if a girl does the same she's a slut?
omg, that's my question too!! WHY?!!

Will you ever get back with any exs in the future?
nope. life goes on. put the past behind.

end of a chapter, another journey awaits me

Picture courtesy of Getty Images

Last Wednesday was my last day at work. I know it might not be a big deal to some people when their work ends, but I loved my work too much that it was hard to let go of it. My work became a big part of me. It expanded my horizons and opened up my little world. I made new friends, I improved my public speaking skills, and most importantly, I learned to believe in myself. Thus, I thank all the people I've worked with for they have made me the individual I am now, they all know who they are =)

Another chapter of my life has ended. I can't wait for what is in store for me next.

Graduating from Shoreline this quarter. University, here I come! (Dear Lord, please make at least one of them accept me.) Hahaha. (no joke though, I'm scared =P)

The new year has been good to me.... so far.

S'il vous plait, don't rain on my parade.

WLR/ Winter Quarter: Week 2

Summary Winter Leadership Retreat (WLR):

Got to know some of the student leaders, they're all such fun and funny people =) Student Government, Campus Ambassadors and of course, International Peer Mentors =)

Left Shoreline for Camp Indianola at around 3ish p.m. then was stuck at the ferry station entrance for about 30 minutes. Then rode the ferry for another 30 minutes then drove again and stopped at a market to buy our things for our dinner =)



The cabin was cool. It smelled funny at first but after the spaghetti/salad dinner, the common room smelled great :p Switch of gender roles. Guys cooked while the girls lit up the fireplace :p





Dinner, introductions, "Who's here, who's not here", briefly talked about the constitution, egg eating contest (Ivanhoe eating 18 boiled eggs in less than an hour is beyond me... and poor Giao for throwing up), shower then bed.



Woke up at around 7:30a.m. washed up and went for breakfast. Sat at the common room and talked about goals and accomplishments. Break time: play, picture taking, eating, etc. Presented our goals and accomplishments with the whole group. Lunch.







30 minute break time, discuss upcoming events/happenings for winter quarter, silly game, share what we do to maintain our health, free time: ROPE SWING!!!, walk at the beach and finally, dinner.






Caught the ferry once again. Played "kookoo" in the van. Got back at Shoreline around 7ish p.m.



_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Week 2 if winter classes. Classes again tomorrow... getting the hang of my schedule. Studied a bit for First Aid, I have a feeling we'll have an oral quiz of some sort tomorrow. Wrote my first Speech Comm. journal and started my Mass Comm. journal as well. Already tired and I have no idea why. My attention span improved last quarter and after a bit of a break, it's becoming bad again. Gotta step it up (huh?--lol)

Anyhoo, gonna read a bit more while watching 90210 and eventually fall asleep.

Peace \m/