Narcissus Girl (nah).

This is going to be quite a narcissist entry; not that I’ve never written vain entries before… but that’s beside the point.

We women have good and bad days. We sometimes wake up in the morning feeling beautiful, confident and ready to step outside, not letting anyone rain on our parade. But there are days when we feel butt ugly, pessimistic and in a way, ashamed of ourselves.

I reflected upon this recently (I’ve been stuck inside the house for 3 days due to snow, who can blame me?). I’ve only had two serious romantic relationships in my 20 years of existence. And being in those relationships, I’ve always felt ugly BUT confident. And here’s why. Because I’m in a relationship, I don’t feel the need to “beautify” myself. I trust that my other half would love me for who I am regardless of what type of jeans I’m wearing. But once I am out of that relationship; I am back to my “I’m-not-going-out-in-sweatpants” phase. It’s that constant need of trying to look pretty. Why, you ask? Here’s what I came up with:

-You don’t want to go out and have your ex see you for the first time looking like shit.

-You want to attract other guys.

-It’s your way of finding confidence within yourself (especially if you’re the rejected). If you look good, you feel good.

It’s been four months and some odd days now and putting that effort of trying to look good has gone unnoticed. I feel like I don’t even try to look good and yet people compliment on how I’m “glowing”.

And one question remains:
Am I truly over it?

Not that I’m complaining. Just laying it out there; this is a good sign as the year 2008 reaches its climax :] Woohoo.

Merry Christmas everyone.