One of those weeks.

It’s been a while since I blogged about “a day (or week) in a life of Venus”. This week was exhausting to say the least. I also felt very overwhelmed and a bunch of other things mixed in it.

Work’s just crazy as always. I’ve been working there for 7 months and some odd days. But the craziness is what’s keeping me sane. I love the kids and how they can put a temporary yet fulfilling smile on my face. I love my co-workers’ company despite of some random dramas that happen. They’ve become my new friends whom I can laugh with. I will surely miss my life as ‘Teacher Miss Venus”.

Today I had to register for my classes and I’ll be honest, as much as I’m excited about meeting new people and taking classes that I’ll actually love, I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for it… the academic part at least. But as my advisor said earlier about my 7:45am class “let’s just suck it up”.

This week I was also reminded of him by three different people, 3 days in a row. It has become one of those things that I like to talk about to get that sense of release. But lately each time people ask me something that has something to do with him, I just suddenly choke up and reply with a shrug. Things just start to swirl around and the more I try to dissect how I’m feeling, the more I feel lost. I guess I just like to talk about it to a certain extent for my own good (or else I’ll explode).

Right now I’m at a good spot. I’m not up high on a pedestal nor hitting rock bottom. I hope to keep it that way.

Have a good weekend (well, almost!) :)

Alanis Morissette

I finally got to see Alanis Morissette perform live.

I don’t consider myself as a music oriented person. For one, I can’t carry a tune to save my life and also, I never really carried on with playing musical instruments. However what I look for the in a song are the lyrics, the meaning, interpretation and what have you.

Over the years, Alanis Morissette provided the above said things and that is why I’ve been such a huge fan for a long time.

I remember her debut album Jagged Little Pill came out in 1995… I was seven years old. Obviously I was too young to understand the lyrics. But one song that always makes me reminisce is ‘Ironic’. Personally, it didn’t mean anything to me when I was younger; I just liked listening to it.



A few years later, my brother met a girl (whom he is happily married to now) who was a hardcore Alanis fan. My brother bought his then girlfriend Alanis MTV Unplugged CD and we would listen to the songs over and over again. From then on, I was hooked. I was old enough to understand the lyrics, apply it to my life and make my own interpretations.

I don’t think of Alanis as a singer but a storyteller or a poet. Her use of words doesn’t seem to fail in conveying things. She is known for not censoring things, she tells what she feels. On the same note, she does not reveal the identities of the people she mentions on her songs which show great professionalism. On some level, even though they’ve hurt her, she still respects them. In one of the interviews I’ve watched, she mentioned that she doesn’t write songs to hurt, punish or throw revenge to that individual. She writes those songs simply to express her emotions.

During my teenage years, I resorted to her music whenever I felt an emotion too strong for me to express. Thus, I “expressed” them by listening to her music on full blast.

After seeing her on concert last Wednesday, Nov. 5, I suddenly got interested about her life. Surely, she experienced struggles that would become the music that she shares with the world. Last night, I spent almost 3 hours searching for videos, concerts, interviews, documentaries and anything to do with her life. And today pretty much consisted of watching videos of her.



Although I would never want to experience the struggles she’s been through in the past, I want to be the aftermath of her-- surpassing those struggles. She’s a strong woman who expresses herself well and does not hide. Very professional, humorous, and a hint of mystery are within her.

Thank you for an amazing concert!

Thoughts swirling inside my head.

Today, it pained me to see such a strong, positive and happy person have tears roll down her cheeks. I guess when it comes to love; it can break such an individual into pieces. Love doesn’t choose who to hurt. When it comes to love, no one’s superhuman, no one’s invincible.

Being the human being that we are, we are never content or satisfied of what we have. But being the human being that we are, we also don’t know why we keep going back to that person who broke us into pieces. Even though it hurts, we still want that person back, to fill that void, that emptiness. Regardless of the pain, we endure it just to have that person back in our lives. But why, when they’ve hurt us numerous times?

Have we lost hope on finding someone who’ll treat us better? Are we afraid to love someone else, predicting we might get screwed over again? Or are we just simply masochists?

The Break-Up

We all know that a break up is the “suckiest thing in the whole world”. It sucks even more when you’re the one who got dumped. But let’s chill out for a second and poke fun of what a post- break up entails.

We tend to do things that just add a cherry on top of a hurtful break up:

-You listen to break up songs:
*I thought every break up song was written for me. Don’t deny, you’ve been there too. You turn on the radio and suddenly think “yes girl-friend, I feel your pain!” (I personally resorted to Alanis Morissette’s “Oughta Know” and Pink’s “Who Knew”.)

-You look at his/her pictures and replay memories you had together in your head:
*Everything in my room reminded me of him. I had pictures of him on my cork board, in a frame, presents and some things he owned. (Now they’re stored somewhere where I can’t see them).

-You check (a.k.a. stalk) their Myspace, Facebook or any other network profiles they might have:
*I haven’t gotten over this phase yet. But I have a rule I made for myself… I can only look at his profiles at certain times, under certain circumstances. Ha! Leave me alone.

-You talk about it 24/7 with your friends:
*The first 2 weeks, all I could talk about was the break up. Although my friends were very supportive, I could also hear them getting tired of me. Ha-ha. But I found out that the more I talked about it, the quicker I got over it because by then, I also got tired of hearing myself.

-You stand by your phone, hoping he or she would text message or call:
*First week, I had an obnoxious habit of checking my phone 3 million times a day.
*But by the second week, I was smart enough to turn my phone off at night to keep myself sane.

-You look for flings as a means of “distraction”:
*I went on one date with this guy. Although I had fun, there were just no fireworks going off. But hey, I got distracted.
*A friend of mine (ironically the guy I went on a date with—he got the hint we weren’t going to work out) gave my number to a guy who was new in town. We’ve been text messaging ever since… distraction, alright.

-You read “self-help” books:
*I read “It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken” by Greg Behrendts (same author of “He’s Just Not That Into You”.) A line form The Sweetest Thing came to mind: “Relationship Propaganda”!

-You resort to Sex & The City:
*If I was to be one of them, I say I’d be Carrie. We think so much alike. In one of the episodes when she and Mr. Big broke up, a line she said that came to mind was “Break-up rule #4: Never stop thinking about him even for a moment… because that’s the moment he’ll appear.” Men and their radars!
*Even though I’m so much like Carrie, I sometimes wish I had the mindset of Samantha. You know why *wink*.

-You rebel, act out or just do things you haven’t done before:
*I went out of town (but this was planned way long before the breakup). If time and money lets you, seriously, do get out of town for a getaway… it really helps!
*Retail Therapy… enough said.
*Getting a tattoo or piercing (I got my tongue pierced… yikes. Lucky bastards in the future… HAHAHA).
*Smoking (let’s just say Marlboro gained one of their customers back…)

-You over-eat or don’t eat at all:
*This never came from personal experiences but I’ve known people who gained so much weight because of a breakup.

-You can’t sleep:
*This I’ve experienced. I turned into the insomniac that I never was. Laying down, thinking and wasting my brain cells into oblivion. Then I cry myself to sleep, feeling shittier the next morning.

-You blog:
*Welcome to my random world :)